


A Rosewood Blizzard

by alcrevier



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Domestic & Christmas Fluff, F/F, Miscommunication, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 37,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8949781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcrevier/pseuds/alcrevier
Summary: A heavy snowstorm hits all of Pennsylvania just as Emily and Alison find themselves tangled in a bundle of miscommunication and stubbornness. Good thing they’re snowed in together ━ A four-part, winter-oriented, Emison story, taking place sometime after 7x10 ━ Happy Holidays.





	1. December 22nd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dilaurentisfields](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dilaurentisfields/gifts).



> Well, here we are: my 36K-long, Emison, Christmas story. Like most of my other stories, it's rated M, so you've been warned (and, yes, I do this every time).
> 
> I'm dedicating this story to "dilaurentisfields" because she gave me the idea, and she's always listening to my rants and worries regarding my writing, so be sure to thank her if you enjoy this fic. Honestly, this was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but a ton of ideas came to mind, plus I wanted a bigger plot for a Christmas story, so I was like "Hey, why not?" You'll see what I'm talking about in a minute.
> 
> Just a heads-up: this story could've been titled "A Very Petty Christmas" because, well, obvious reasons. Again, you'll see. Also, it's basically a battle between me saying, "I hate being cliché," and inner me arguing, "But do you really?"
> 
> I know that not everyone will be able to follow along with the quick postings due to possible holiday gatherings, so think of this as a lengthy present; you'll get to read all four chapters once you're free! If you are, indeed, able to follow along with the updates… this is still a present. To everyone. You're welcome.
> 
> Note: I apologize in advance for any typos throughout this story. I've decided to revise on my own from now on because it's less stressful for everyone involved/helping. With that being said, it's basically impossible to catch every typo in your own writing, so bear with me.
> 
> Without further ado, have fun.

Alison sits on her living room couch as her eyes dart between the television and the brunette who paces back and forth nearby, constantly biting her nail as she grunts while the weatherman begins to recite the forecast:

_“You can see over here, a lot of snow is plowing straight through the entire state, covering the majority of our towns and big cities. Just this morning, the blizzard seemingly, um… amplified, as you can tell from the levels we’re going to be getting hit with. It’ll continue to drive up the East Coast until it makes its way through some parts of our neighbor country,”_ he seems to struggle with getting all of the information out, and Emily groans when she sees that Rosewood is _completely_ within the confines of the highest accumulation zone on the shown map.

_“Currently, we don’t have expected stoppage times for everyone who’s wondering, but we’ll keep you updated. It’s going to be a very, very white Christmas, folks.”_

Again, the brunette makes a distraught noise and Alison rolls her eyes at the sound.

“I’m sorry you’re so bothered that you’re snowed in with me,” she scoffs at the other girl.

Emily just shakes her head and walks away, leaving Alison in the living room as she wanders the house somewhere.

The blonde wonders when they’ll stop acting this way. It hasn’t been long ━ technically, it’s been less than a day ━ and, really, they haven’t even _attempted_ to talk about anything since this morning when everything initially went down, but Emily doesn’t seem to want to discuss anything ━ and maybe she never will.

Lately, they’ve been connected, but not in an emotional sense. In more-blunt terms, it’s been strictly physical ever since Alison brought up the idea of a “friends with benefits” relationship when Emily hesitated for a bit too long once they _finally_ sat down to talk about what happened the night the brunette stayed over ━ after Alison had dropped that bombshell on the other girl out of _absolutely_ nowhere. So, the suggestion came out (though Alison barely thought it through beforehand), and Emily hastily nodded. At first, the blonde thought that they’d just… keep it in mind instead of acting on it, but, _wow_ , they acted on it ━ and fast. Not even ten minutes later, the two were messily kissing on Alison’s living room couch, dry humping with soft noises coming out here and there. They eventually stopped, however, with Emily confessing that, sure, they can be friends with benefits, but she still doesn’t want to jump into things. It confused Alison at the time, but she’d be lying if she said that it didn’t make her feel much more comfortable considering what’s been happening with her body.

A few days later, the blonde invited Emily over once again, kissing her at the door almost immediately as she pulled her inside and pressed the brunette against the wooden barrier. That time, Alison was prepared, and she had lit a few candles around her bedroom as she practically dragged Emily upstairs, just to shove her onto the bed. It was passionate yet gentle, contrary to the entire “friends with benefits” vibe, and Alison actually wondered if, just maybe, there’s an underlying emotion that neither of them would admit. All thinking stopped when the brunette’s fingers swiped against her center, and she never caught up to her train of thought once everything was over.

This entire thing has brought out a side of Emily that Alison has never seen before, and she isn’t sure if it’s _completely_ attractive or maybe a bit… different. It’s not her Emily, in all honesty, because, a lot of times, she’s entirely focused on contact and less on feelings, but the blonde wonders if the other girl is just putting up a barrier between them due to her past with rejection when it comes to their relationship. Alison, on the other hand, has felt her fondness for Emily growing within the past few weeks and, every time they get tangled within sheets, the blonde allows herself to fall a little harder in hopes that Emily feels the same way ━ and she does when she lets herself. The brunette, visibly, has been struggling. She’ll steal lovable glances at Alison when she thinks the blonde isn’t looking, and she still allows the girl to cling to her sweaty skin after they’re done having sex.

It’s never rough, however, and Alison admits that, sometimes, it feels like they’re making love instead of solely fucking for fun. Occasionally, Emily will stop and look at Alison, allowing a smile to grace her face before leaning in for another kiss. Other times, she’ll compliment Alison with tender words. No matter what, in every situation, Emily makes sure that Alison is taken care of before anything else. Additionally, the brunette seems ten times more confident in bed, and she isn’t afraid to touch Alison in the best of ways. Admittedly, the confidence, _alone_ , is a huge turn on, but it also makes Alison feel much more admired, in a way.

Because of the brunette’s constant, lovable body language (both in and out of bed), Alison can tell that Emily feels the need for _more_ just as much as she does, but, when she confronted her about it, the entire _“Do you want to be more?”_ conversation didn’t go so well, which is why they’ve been so hot and cold with each other today.

Just this morning, they woke up together, naked, just to get ready for the last day of school before Christmas break. Alison watched Emily get ready (and vice versa), smiling softly at the girl who’s been staying over almost every night for weeks since they both work at Rosewood High now. Most mornings, they’ll eat small breakfasts together (or Alison will actually make a bigger meal), but this morning had them standing in the kitchen, snacking on a few cereal bars as they smiled at one another. Kisses were stolen here and there, and, really, they never exactly acted like anything less than lovers, which is something that they’ve both grown accustomed to.

_“So,” Alison starts, “I have a question.”_

_Immediately, Emily stops in her tracks and turns her head to the girl who seems far past shy at the moment. She waits while silence fills the air, almost sucking the life out of Alison who opens and closes her mouth a few times before grunting when she can’t figure out how to word what she’s thinking. Still, the brunette waits, and she leans her backside against the counter._

_“Are you okay, Ali?” she grows concerned when the other girl seems like she’s super conflicted about something._

_“Are you really happy with this, Em?” Alison blurts out. “Us, I mean. Are you happy with this whole… ‘friends with benefits’ thing?”_

_The brunette shrugs, though she furrows her eyebrows at the same time, “I guess. It’s not like I’m not happy with it,” she emphasizes the “not,” making sure that Alison knows where she’s coming from._

_“What does that mean, though? I just… can we… sit down and talk, maybe? After school or something?”_

_Emily visibly backs off a bit, her body language becoming stiff as she begins to adjust her Rosewood High coaching jacket while walking out of the kitchen. Alison frowns severely, scuffling out of the kitchen to follow the girl with open arms and a “what the fuck?” expression written across her features._

_“Emily,” she calls out, “did I say something?”_

_“No, Alison, you didn’t,” her tone bites at the blonde who shrinks back._

_When Emily sees the girl’s hurt body language, she licks her lips and bows her head while whispering, “I’m sorry, Ali, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m just tired.”_

_Alison looks away from the girl who stands at the door, arms now crossed as she tries to focus on something other than the stinging in her chest and the impending tears._

_“So,” the blonde finally speaks, voice breaking a bit, “can we talk about it, or no? I’m sick of feeling like this, Em. I want you. All of you.”_

_Emily’s lips part at the admission, and Alison swears she can see a hint of teenage Emily in there, smiling big at the entire concept of them being together. The girl in front of her, however, swallows hard, mutters a quick “Maybe we’ll talk later,” and walks out._

_Alison stands there, arms now limp at her sides as tears flow from her eyes while she replays the prior conversation over and over within the confines of her mind. She runs a hand through her hair while mentally noting the fact that Emily left without her, something she rarely does since they usually take one car to the high school. Next, she gets out a soft “Fuck it,” picks up her jacket, and walks out of the house._

On the way to school, Alison called Hanna while driving once the tears had finally stopped falling, and the other blonde answered the phone with a grumpy _“Hello?”_ due to it being really fucking early.

_“Why are you up so early, Alison? Damn,” she can practically hear Hanna moving around in bed._

_“Um…” Alison makes a face at no one in particular, maneuvering her car through the semi-empty streets, “it’s a school day, and I teach on school days.”_

_“Why is school still in session? Christmas is in four days and it’s supposed to get pretty bad out today.”_

_“I know,” she notes as she looks around, watching the already-falling snowflakes hit her windshield as she sits at a stoplight._

_“And why are you calling me before school hours?” comes another groan._

_“I fucked up.”_

_“Can you be a little more specific?”_

_“My little ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement with Emily. I fucked it up.”_

_“Oh God,” the other girl sounds much more awake. “We told you that it was a bad idea, Alison. What happened?”_

_She sighs, “I'm much more attached than I thought I was. Lately, I just want so much more. I want to be with her. So, this morning, I asked if we could talk about it, and I told her what I want.”_

_“And…?”_

_“She got all weird, snapped a bit, and walked out.”_

_“I think that’s just a defense mechanism, Ali. Even Spencer can see that she really loves you and that’s saying something because Spencer never acknowledges what she doesn’t want to.”_

_“Gee, thanks.”_

_“I’m just saying. We’re all on board with you two… you know… because we just want you happy, but we’re also afraid that it’ll hurt both of you in the end. I think you guys should really sit down and talk about it.”_

_Alison rolls her eyes, “But I don’t think she wants to talk about it, Hanna.”_

_“Just give her the day to think and cool down. Maybe you just caught her off-guard,” Hanna’s voice is super sympathetic and Alison sighs again._

_“Okay, thanks.”_

_“I’m going back to sleep now. Have a nice day,” the end of the girl’s statement sounds as if she’s already fast asleep, so Alison hums a quick “Mhm” and hangs up just as she pulls into the school’s parking lot._

Of course, when she stepped into the building, she almost ran straight into Emily who looked back at her with wide eyes. Before Alison could say a word, the other girl brushed past her and quickly made her way towards her office located within the locker room walls. Again, Alison frowned at the cold shoulder concept, eventually shaking her head and continuing towards her own classroom where she’d hopefully be able to focus all day.

She couldn’t, much to her displeasure, and her mind kept drifting back to the brunette who very-obviously avoided her throughout the day. Whenever their paths crossed, Emily would look at her like a deer caught in headlights, and then she’d run the other way. It began to piss Alison off, actually, and the blonde texted Hanna around lunchtime:

_“She’s literally avoiding me like the black plague. What the fuck did I do wrong?”_

Hanna showed sympathy through her texts, trying her best to calm Alison down ━ especially when she sent a trail of random letters once she grew severely frustrated. As the day progressed, she could see the mounting snow piling against the window, matted to the screen like caked dirt. Her students seemed way more distracted than usual, likely because it was almost Christmas break, and she huffed a few times before tossing the book she was holding onto her teacher’s desk, creating a moderately loud thud. All heads whipped towards her, and she offered them a bitter yet authoritative smile as they shifted in their chairs and shared looks with their neighbor.

Finally, her workday was over once the bell rang, and she peeked into the pool room to see Emily and Paige coaching a bunch of swimmers. At first, the blonde felt a pang of jealousy because Paige is able to see and talk to Emily whenever she feels, but then her blue eyes watched Emily and Paige get into a small argument near the bleachers, resulting in the tanned girl storming away. Of course, she walked in Alison’s direction, locking eyes with the blonde girl who offered her a tight-lipped smile and then turned away, making her way towards the front of the school so she could go home. She felt like crying the entire walk back to her car, but her lips curved into a smile once she saw the fluffy, falling snow because, well, she’s always had a hidden love for snowfall, especially because Rosewood doesn’t get a ton ━ _usually_ . Today, obviously, that fact changed, and they’re supposed to be getting hit with _many_ inches of snow ━ and, likely, it’ll accumulate to a few feet.

Once Alison arrived home, she threw on some comfortable pajamas and lounged around her living room, not really expecting Emily to come back because, honestly, she didn’t seem too keen on the idea of “talking,” so the brunette would likely be going home after she was done with swim practice. That assumption was derailed, surprisingly, when Alison glanced through a window to see Emily making her way up Spencer’s driveway, arms crossed with angry body language as her car was stuck in the middle of the street, somewhat between the Hastings’ and DiLaurentis’ houses. The snow was already piled up a few inches, and you could barely see a great deal of _anything_ because of the thick, white precipitation. So, Alison wandered outside as she hugged her own body, watching her breath fill the air like smoke, and she saw Emily knocking at Spencer’s door furiously. At the time, the blonde rolled her eyes because the other girl _knew_ she was home, but she obviously chose to ignore the fact solely because she wants to avoid confrontation. That didn’t work, however, because Alison eventually called her over with expectant, slightly scolding eyes, and Emily looked as though she was debating until she slumped, ran down the stairs, and stalked across their lawns in order to get into Alison’s house.

For the first few minutes, Emily brushed herself off, eventually earning an annoyed _“You have clothes upstairs, you know,”_ from Alison. Other than that, the brunette only thanked her once, then paced for the entire time after she had gotten comfortable.

Emily’s phone breaks Alison out of her thoughts, and the brunette immediately takes the call with a swift “Hello?”

“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine. I’m with Alison,” the blonde listens to the phone call as she remains sitting on the couch, watching Emily pace the floor once again as she pinches her bottom lip between two of her fingers ━ a nervous habit, Alison’s noticed.

“I was on my way home and I couldn’t really see anything, so I pulled onto Spencer’s street, but she wasn’t home so Alison took me in,” the brunette explains. “And you’re home?”

Alison watches Emily nod, though it’s to no one in particular.

“Good,” she says before sighing. “I don’t know when I’ll be home. I was _planning_ on being home for Christmas, but we’re going to be getting hit hard, so I don’t know.”

Alison can vaguely hear the older woman comforting Emily over the line, mentioning that it’s okay if she can’t make it home for Christmas.

“I know, I know,” Emily’s eyes dart to Alison’s for a second, instantly looking away once they make eye contact.

“Okay,” she breathes out, “I love you too.”

The tanned girl hangs up the phone, allowing her arms to slump by her sides as she stares at the floor for an extended period of time. Alison watches her, narrowing her eyes every now and then because Emily seems lost in thought and she doesn’t exactly want to break the girl’s thinking, but the brunette suddenly shakes her head and mumbles an almost inaudible “I’m going to check on the others and make sure they’re okay.”

Alison raises an eyebrow, not exactly understanding why it’s Emily’s job to check on the others, but then realizes that she’s likely trying her best to avoid being alone (just the two of them), and she needs some excuse.

“Aria,” Emily sounds cheery, “I was just checking to make sure you’re okay.”

“Put her on speaker,” Alison comments, earning an odd look from the brunette who, after a moment, complies, pressing a button so Aria’s voice comes through the speaker.

“You’re on speaker, by the way. Ali’s here,” Emily explains.

_“Are you two snowed in yet?”_ Aria’s voice comes through. _“Ezra’s place is nearly plowed in already. It’s insane. I think there’s like… four inches outside, but it seems like thirty.”_

_“That’s because you’re like… four feet tall,”_ the girls hear Ezra’s voice come from somewhere near the phone, causing both Alison and Emily to chuckle.

_“I’m sorry, Ezra, I don’t think we were talking to you,”_ they hear Aria tease.

“Stop flirting. We’re right here, you know,” Alison snickers.

_“You two have done it plenty of times.”_

Emily and Alison look at each other, afterwards blushing while the brunette forces herself to look away.

“No, to answer your question, we’re not completely snowed in yet. My car’s stuck, though,” Emily chews her inner cheek.

_“Are you staying there?”_

“Until the snow lightens up, I’ll have to.”

Alison looks at the brunette, frowning again because that seems to be the only expression she can come up with nowadays; it’s just so unlike Emily to be _this_ against spending the night with her. Even when they’re upset with one another, usually the brunette is still supportive and cuddly, but right now it seems as though she’d rather Alison be in a whole different state.

_“Okay…”_ even Aria seems taken aback by the statement, _“well we were just about to eat dinner, so I’ll talk to you guys later. Stay warm.”_

Emily looks at the clock and notes that it’s only nearing six-thirty at night. Yeah, it’s dark, but Aria and Ezra _never_ eat dinner this early because they’re usually cooking until at least seven o’clock. She shrugs either way, ending the call without giving the other girl a “Goodbye” after Alison had. Before the blonde can get a word out, Emily is hitting Hanna’s number, causing Alison to roll her eyes while rubbing at her forehead. The brunette is now sitting in a chair further away from Alison, holding the phone as the extended ringing noise fills the living room.

_“Hello, Emily,”_ Hanna exaggerates the girl’s name, sounding as if she’s already smiling.

They hear laughing in the background, followed by Spencer’s voice saying, _“Put her on speaker.”_

“You’re on speaker too, guys. I’m with Alison.”

The blonde looks at her hands when she hears her name fall from Emily’s lips. It sounds venomous, almost, and she starts to really wonder if she did something unknowingly. Why would Emily be _this_ harsh over Alison saying she wants to talk? It’s not like she told Emily, “I can’t stand this entire thing. I’m done.” Now _that_ would be shitty, and Alison’s stomach churns at the thought of losing Emily in any way, shape, or form.

_“Good,”_ comes Hanna’s comment and Emily furrows her eyebrows at the tone.

“What do you mean ‘good’?”

Before Hanna can answer, Spencer’s voice comes through the speaker.

_“Hanna won’t stop singing to me, Em. Please help,”_ she laughs.

_“You asked me if I could sing to you!”_

_“I was being sarcastic! I said, ‘Yes, Hanna, I love your voice. Please sing louder,’ and you clearly didn’t catch onto the sarcasm.”_

“Why are you two even together right now?” Alison chuckles as she throws her voice across the room.

_“I went to the loft to talk to Hanna about a few things, and then the freakin’ snow got super bad. Now I’m stuck here with this loud-mouth.”_

_“You love it.”_

_“Where’s Aria?”_

“At Ezra’s,” Emily answers.

_“And you’re at Alison’s, I’m assuming,”_ Hanna speaks again.

“Yup,” the brunette wears an unreadable expression.

_“Good,”_ the same reply comes.

“What do you mean ‘good,’ Hanna?”

The girl sighs, and Alison doesn’t even try to stop Hanna from saying what she’s about to confess because, well, she _knows_ that the other blonde is about to explain their phone call from this morning, and━

_“Look, Em. I don’t know what’s going on with you and neither does Alison. Honestly, that scares me a bit because she usually knows so much since you two share everything, but it’s whatever. You’re allowed to deal with whatever you need to in whatever way you find easiest, but you two need to talk things through, and I mean it. I’m glad you’re stuck in a house together for the time being. Work things out because we’re all worried about you two.”_

Emily looks at Alison with a slight expression of betrayal, and the blonde tilts her head with accusatory eyes. They stare at one another, and the other line goes silent before they hear Spencer whisper something to Hanna, but they can’t make it out.

_“Yeah,”_ Hanna continues in a firm voice, _“so sort out your shit. You’ll have to do it one way or another.”_

“Okay,” is Emily’s only reply, and the phone is hung up not even a second later.

She tosses the device onto the coffee table, afterwards getting up and walking around the room as Alison looks at her with wide eyes. The blonde stands up abruptly, being sick of the constant attitude, and she crosses her arms as she stares at Emily with those same, wide eyes.

“What the hell is your problem, Emily?”

No answer; just frequent pacing.

“All I did was say that I want more from this and you become some asshole who throws attitude at people left and right. _Including_ me. I want to know what’s wrong,” the end of her statement sounds cracked and mildly sympathetic, resulting in Emily whipping around to face the girl who stands there with folded arms.

“Why would you say something to Hanna?” is her only response, eyebrows raised as her voice sounds as if she’s scolding the girl in front of her.

“I needed someone to talk to, Emily,” Alison shakes her head. “You wouldn’t talk to me, and I needed someone who knew the situation so I could explain myself. I’m not about to keep this bottled up just because _you_ can’t handle talking about it. I don’t even know _why_. Like… what did I do, Em? Tell me.”

“So you two decided to gang up on me? Is that it? Spencer too? And Aria?” she throws out names, constantly ignoring the central topic.

“What? No,” again, Alison shakes her head, “Hanna just agrees that we should talk about things, Em. No one is ganging up on you.”

“Well Hanna should mind her business,” Emily bites, and that’s when Alison’s eyes widen even further as she takes a step forward, uncrossing her arms.

She speaks incredulously and firmly, “You can be pissed at me all you want for whatever reason, but don’t you dare say shit about Hanna. She’s stuck by your side since day one and you can bet your ass I won’t hesitate to throw you out in the snow if you continue bitching about her. Any of them, come to think of it.”

Emily seems to back off, especially when Alison’s within arms length and all she wants to do is smash their lips together. The blonde can see lust heavily swirling in her eyes, so she takes a step back when her own throat begins to tighten up as her gaze struggles to remain off of the other girl’s lips. Meanwhile, the atmosphere changes from an angry type of thick to a warm, magnetic density, and Emily clears her throat as she looks away.

“Maybe I really should leave. I’ll be careful,” she shakes her head as she walks over to the front door, stopping once Alison rounds her and stands in front of the barrier.

“No,” Alison mimics the other girl’s head shake, “you’re not driving anywhere, Em. It’s too dangerous out there.”

“Alison,” she looks downwards as she speaks with a sad tone, “I can’t. I really don’t want to keep arguing with you, and I’m sorry that I’ve been so off. I just can’t…” she struggles to find an end to the sentence, and Alison takes a step closer.

The blonde nods, though she doesn’t know what the other girl was _trying_ to say, and she wraps her arms around Emily’s waist as she buries her face into the side of the brunette’s neck. She feels and hears Emily sniffle hard, so she tightens the embrace as she takes in the girl’s scent, always enjoying the smell of Emily’s body spray whenever they’re within close proximity. Alison feels Emily finally give into the hug, bowing her head a little as they stand near the front door.

“Please don’t go. Not right now,” Alison whispers.

She feels Emily swallow hard before an elongated breath tumbles from her lips. Alison clings to the other girl, shaking her head as she chokes out one more, whispered “Please.”

After another few seconds, Emily nods, and Alison backs up so she can look into the brunette’s eyes. Once they make eye contact, it becomes difficult to focus, and Alison has to look away because she doesn’t want to kiss Emily without knowing where they stand. Emily wipes at her eyelids, afterwards looking at the ceiling and letting out a deep sigh.

“I’m going to go out and clear off the cars a bit. The snow’s getting heavy and I don’t want the windshields to get messed up,” Emily explains, barely looking at Alison when she speaks.

“Okay,” the other girl nods, though she feels severely rejected because the brunette can’t even make eye contact with her.

Emily mimics the nod as she takes her jacket and walks outside, not bothering to put on any gloves or a hat. On her feet, she wears simple sneakers, and Alison shakes her head at the fact that the brunette would rather catch pneumonia than stay in the house with her for another second. Once Emily is outside, Alison watches the girl from the window as she pulls a shovel and brush out of the trunk of her car that remains in the street. Next, Emily begins brushing off her car, occasionally stopping and wiping at her face for whatever reason. Eventually, Alison has to step away from the window because her eyes begin to water hard; everything’s just become so fucked up lately, and she should have never suggested this stupid “friends with benefits” idea, even if it kept them close ━ in a way.

Really, she just wants to pour a glass of wine (or twelve) and sit on the couch as she wallows in self-loathing, but obviously she can’t, so she backs up until her legs hit the edge of a cushion. She sits down a second later, nuzzling into the back of the couch as she looks as her stomach and hugs herself, feeling her eyes fill with more tears. She can’t stop her sobs this time, and she begins to cry hard as her hands cover her eyes, rubbing at her eyelids and forehead. In order to look presentable when Emily comes back in, Alison takes multiple deep breaths in hopes that she can even out her breathing, and she chews at her bottom lip. Before she can do anything else, her phone beeps nearby, and she picks it up to see a text from Hanna:

_“I hope I didn’t make things worse. I just thought that she needed to hear it.”_

Quickly, Alison writes back a short _“It’s okay. She’s still not really talking though,”_ hitting send immediately. She plays with the device in her hand as her eyes dart around the room, noting the Christmas decor that she hasn’t paid much attention to since she put everything up. Her tree is up, tucked away in the corner with only clear lights adorning the branches ━ and not a trace of ornaments or personalization. Currently, the tree’s lights are off (as well as everything else), and the room looks dreary ━ especially due to the lack of presents anywhere in the room. It matches the way she feels, really, and Alison rolls her eyes at the entire situation because maybe, if she turned on some Christmas-y lights, she’d feel a bit better; honestly, she hasn’t had any desire to decorate or celebrate, even if she enjoys the festive concept ━ she just wants to mope right now. Even before today, her thoughts had been so scattered that she hasn’t even given the idea a chance which resulted in the “no spirit” look that she’s currently glancing at. Sure, a time or two, she had wondered if Emily would stop by sometime on or near Christmas Day, but she never asked because, well, maybe that’d be crossing some sort of boundary. So, whenever she thought about the idea, she’d keep her mouth shut while forcing herself to change the internal subject, actually rolling her eyes a time or two when the concept continued to swirl in her mind.

With a huff, she pushes herself off of the couch and moves over to the window again. Her eyes dart around the front lawn, not spotting Emily anywhere at first. Eventually, she catches sight of the brunette sitting on the curb near her car, head in her hands. The sight almost breaks Alison, even if the girl is just resting to catch her breath. The blonde’s eyes water again, and that’s when she walks over to the door and flings it open, stepping onto the front porch.

“Emily,” she calls out and the brunette lifts her head, twisting her body around to see Alison standing on the front porch, arms crossed to keep herself warm since she’s wearing thin pajama pants, a matching long sleeve shirt, and socks.

The girl stands up, quickly moves across the front lawn, storms up the front steps, and practically shoves Alison through the doorway with a creased forehead and damp cheeks.

“Are you crazy, Alison? You could get sick,” Emily locks the front door and puts her jacket on a nearby hook, afterwards turning around to face the blonde with the same, scolding expression covering her features.

“You were out there for _much_ longer than I was,” Alison reminds.

“I’m fine, though,” she says, but her hands are a faint shade of blue and Alison’s eyes go wide upon seeing the color.

The blonde huffs as she tilts her head when she looks at Emily who bites her inner cheek. Within seconds, the brunette’s wrist is snatched and she’s being dragged into the kitchen. Her hands are shoved under warm water a moment later, and Alison is staring at her while shaking her head with tired eyes.

“Next time you go outside, dress warmer,” she scolds. “I’m not letting you out of the house, otherwise.”

“I’m not a kid, Alison. You can’t make me stay inside.”

She takes a step closer, eyes challenging, “You must not know me, then.”

Emily side-eyes the other girl, keeping her hands underneath the steady stream of water while Alison walks away. She hears the blonde rummaging through the cabinets, followed by the sound of a can being opened.

“I’m making us soup,” Alison notifies since she knows that Emily is bound to ask what she’s doing.

“You don’t have to do that, Ali,” she shuts the water off, wiping her hands afterwards as she feels like pins and needles are poking at her skin.

Emily’s nose is red while her cheeks remain looking damp. Really, she looks _cold_ , and Alison wants to hug her again but, instead, she shakes her head and continues heating up a pot of soup for them to share.

“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to.”

“At least let me help.”

“No, it’s fine,” Alison answers with an unreadable tone.

Emily stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as the other girl continues to prepare their dinner. Alison mimics the position as she waits for the soup to heat up, stirring it occasionally before she goes back to leaning against the counter across from Emily who stares at her. They make awkward eye contact every now and then, but nothing too serious, and no one speaks for ten minutes. Once the soup starts to bubble, Alison serves their meals, and they move into the living room so they can eat comfortably ━ or as comfortably as they can due to the circumstances. Snow-covered silence fills the house, only interrupted by the sound of spoons clanking around in ceramic bowls. The single phrase that’s spoken throughout “dinner” is Emily thanking Alison for the soup, and the blonde hums at the gratitude. Emily’s brown eyes occasionally steal glances at Alison, wondering what she’s thinking since she hasn’t attempted to talk about things for quite a bit now. Alison, on the other hand, is afraid to say anything because, well, Emily could get set off at any given second; whenever she thinks about what’s happening, her eyes start to water, so she tries to stay away from the thought as much as possible while they eat across from each other.

_“You’re so beautiful,” Emily smiles at the girl who hovers above her, completely naked and covered in a thin layer of sweat._

_“You’re only saying that because I’ve been keeping you satisfied,” Alison jokes. “You kind of have to say that, actually.”_

_“That’s not true, Ali,” she laughs. “I mean… yes, you have been,” her eyes widen, “but that’s really not it.”_

_“Tell me about it, then,” the girl sits up straight, still straddling Emily who lies flat against the blonde’s mattress._

_Alison’s fingertips drag along Emily’s collarbones, afterwards tracing her throat gently as she smiles whenever the brunette slightly whimpers at the feeling. Her blue eyes watch the tanned girl struggle to focus, and her smile grows with each passing second._

_“You’re just… you,” Emily gets out, “and that’s beautiful. So beautiful.”_

_“Do you really mean that?” Alison raises an eyebrow, smiling as she leans down._

_“Mhm,” the brunette hums right before her lips are sealed once again._

Emily’s eyes bore into the coffee table in the middle of them, and Alison studies her empty expression. The brunette’s lips quirk into a slight smile as she starts to blush, quickly looking away and taking a deep breath when she finally breaks herself out of her thoughts. Alison’s eyes evade the other girl’s gaze so Emily doesn’t catch her staring, and she suddenly gets up and walks back into the kitchen with her empty bowl. The brunette follows, carrying her own empty bowl, and she approaches Alison who stands in front of the sink. Before she can place her bowl next to Alison’s, the blonde abruptly turns around, leaving her trapped between Emily and the counter, and both girl’s eyes widen at the proximity ━ not to mention the position.

An extended amount of tension-infused time passes before Emily places the bowl into the sink as she leans forward slightly, reaching behind Alison’s back. The blonde stays still, barely breathing as Emily’s lips are only a few inches away from hers, and her eyes flutter shut at the closeness. The other girl, similarly, can barely breathe, and her fingertips brush against the middle of Alison’s back as she removes her hand from the sink. Alison swallows hard when she feels the light pressure, and she opens her eyes to see Emily biting her own lower lip. When the brunette doesn’t move, Alison forces herself away from the situation as she shimmies out from between the girl and the counter, afterwards escaping the kitchen as fast as possible.

She heads into the living room and picks up her phone so she can check if she has any messages. She doesn’t, and her eyes catch sight of the time before she shuts her screen off: 9:06 P.M.

“I’m going to sleep down here,” Emily’s voice breaks up Alison’s thoughts.

She looks… hurt, in a way, and Alison wonders if it’s because she walked out of the kitchen. She feels slightly guilty but, at the same time, she doesn’t; if Emily actually made the attempt to discuss things, maybe they’d be having a much better time right now.

“Okay,” the blonde huffs as she looks around, “I’m sure I can find enough blankets for both of us.”

As she moves around the room, she picks up a multitude of blankets and pillows, and Emily watches her with narrowed eyes.

“Alison, you don’t have to stay down here with me.”

She stops, turns to Emily, and puts her hands on her hips as she tilts her head, “Again, _I know_ ,” she speaks with an irritated tone, “but I’m going to, anyway.”

Emily raises her eyebrows and rubs her arms as she looks around awkwardly, standing quietly while Alison prepares their “beds” ━ since they likely won’t do well sleeping together tonight.

Ultimately, one of them is going to stay on the couch while the other rests either on the floor or in a nearby chair, even though both girls really wish that they could sleep together. No one wants to voice the idea, however, so Emily steals the chair that she’s been sitting in for most of the day, quickly draping a blanket over herself. When Alison turns back around to see Emily already snuggled up (as much as she can be), her eyebrows furrow and she frowns.

“Em, you can have the couch.”

“No,” Emily shakes her head forcefully. “I don’t care what you say, Alison. I want you to sleep on the couch. You’re the one who needs to be comfortable. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re the guest, Emily.”

When the brunette just stares at her like she’s being ridiculous, Alison huffs with raised eyebrows and a soft “Whatever” even though she’s secretly thankful that the other girl is practically forcing her to claim the couch. Lately, her surprise pregnancy has been fucking with her sleeping schedule, her comfort zone, and everything else. So, in the end, Alison mentally thanks Emily for being so stubborn, even if it’s just because she knows that the blonde needs to be as comfortable as possible nowadays ━ it’s the sentiment that counts.

Before getting settled, Alison shuts off the kitchen lights. It’s pretty early, actually, so she’s surprised that Emily seems to be getting comfortable already, but she goes with it just for the sake of not getting into another stupid argument. She locks the door and looks out the window, still not being able to see too far because of the thick snow, but she can make out multiple inches of powder covering the ground, already near the halfway point of her mailbox’s neck. The air is becoming super cold and she rubs her hands together, passing Emily so she can get comfortable on the couch. Once she sits down, she gathers her blankets and bundles up, afterwards lying against the back of the couch as she stares at Emily who watches her with soft eyes.

“Will you be okay with two blankets? I have more upstairs if you need any,” Alison wonders, feeling kind of shitty that she doesn’t know what else to offer since she forgot to bring firewood into the living room earlier.

“I’ll be fine, Ali,” Emily speaks with a tired voice. “Thank you, though.”

Alison nods.

“Will _you_ be okay?”

She forces a tight-lipped smile, “We’ll see.”

“If you need anything, just ask.”

“I told you that you’re the guest, Em.”

“I know, but I don’t care, Alison. I just want you comfortable,” her eyes drift down towards Alison’s stomach so she can prove her point, and the blonde rolls her eyes with a small laugh.

“Well, thank you, but _we’re_ fine.”

“Still,” Emily flashes a tiny smile, “let me know.”

Again, Alison nods, slightly smiling at the other girl’s relentlessness.

More silence fills the air, and the two stare at one another for an extended period of time. Alison’s gaze flickers between Emily’s eyes and her lips, much like before, and, again, she forces herself to look away because they’re never going to get anywhere solid at this rate. Instead of getting her mind off of the girl sitting across from her, she flashes back to a time after their bodies separated, flopping onto the mattress next to one another.

_“I should’ve suggested this a long time ago,” Alison gently laughs through her heavy breathing, shifting closer until her skin is sticking to Emily’s as her leg lands between the brunette’s thighs._

_“Mhm,” the other girl hums as her nails drag up and down Alison’s back, afterwards feeling open-mouthed kisses being strewn along the skin of her neck._

_“Em,” she backs up after a few more kisses, staring at the tanned girl with eyes full of admiration and, well, something else, “I…” she trails off, though the words are on the tip of her tongue, and her eyes close for a few seconds, “I just really missed you. Us, really.”_

_Emily stares back at her, softly smiling as she nods in agreement._

_“Come here,” the brunette whispers, pulling Alison closer to her body as they cuddle for the remainder of the night._

Emily clears her throat across the room, snapping Alison out of her memories. The brunette continues to stare at her, and her brown eyes bore into Alison’s blue ones while their eye contact becomes like an unspoken conversation. Suddenly, Emily breaks the silent stare-down, and she looks past Alison, glancing at the unlit tree that’s tucked into the corner of the room.

“You should probably decorate that,” she nods towards the tree and Alison looks backwards. “Christmas is in a few days.”

The blonde turns back and offers a slow nod, only briefly looking at Emily as she says, “I’ve been a bit distracted lately.”

Emily mimics the nod, studying Alison’s regretful expression.

For the rest of the night, the two girls keep the talking to a minimum, only making short conversation here and there as the snow outside piles up. The air grows even colder once the clock strikes midnight, and Alison almost asks Emily to cuddle with her as she starts to miss the body heat they’ve shared nearly every night for weeks now, but she brushes off the idea due to the day’s events. The brunette, similarly, wants to wrap her arms around the girl that sits across from her, solely because she can see Alison shiver every now and then, but she knows that she acted horribly for the majority of the day, so she hugs herself as she stares into those infamous blue eyes for a few more hours.

Around two in the morning, both girls nod off one after another. Emily watches Alison fall asleep once she finally lies down along the couch cushions, and she smiles at the blonde who is curled up against the piece of furniture. She gets up a minute later, quietly walking over to Alison and draping another blanket over the girl’s body. Before resuming her position from a minute prior, she takes another look at the sleeping girl, leans down, and kisses her on the top of the head ━ light enough so she doesn’t wake up. Once she’s settled back in the chair from before, she tucks her knees into her chest, leans her head to the side, and falls asleep within minutes as at least a foot of snow coats the ground outside ━ piling up more and more by each passing hour.


	2. December 23rd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back for more, I see.
> 
> Let's get down to it: Today's update is pretty damn long (A.K.A. my longest chapter to date), so I suppose that's cool if you have nothing to do on this wonderful Friday night. Additionally, I just recently updated "January of 2011" if you haven't read that yet (but we won't talk about that here because #spoilers). Lots of reading for you tonight, folks.
> 
> I'll meet you at the bottom.

Alison and Emily stand in the DiLaurentis’ kitchen as they eat cereal while standing across from one another. When they first got into their normal positions, Alison almost rolled her eyes at the constant, never-changing pattern, especially when neither of them spoke more than three words since waking up at ten-thirty.

Initially, around seven-thirty, Alison woke up from her slumber on the couch, having been disrupted by the television that displayed the forecast. Emily stood across the room, arms crossed as she stared out the front windows. The lawn was covered in nearly two feet of snow, and the room felt at least three times colder than it did before they fell asleep. Honestly, Alison slept like shit due to the cold, her position on the couch, and her restless thoughts, so she already felt extra grumpy as Emily turned around to pay attention to the weatherman:

_ “Some parts of the state and surrounding areas have already seen up to three feet of snow, but it’s currently dying down. Just outside the studio, it doesn’t seem like any more snow is falling at the moment, but we could be seeing another two inches of powdery snow later on tonight. We’ve gotten word that huge sections of the state are without power, but it should be back within the next day or so.” _

Emily groaned at the man on TV and threw herself back into her respective “bed,” running a hand through her hair. Alison watched her with sleepy, sunken-in eyes at the time, feeling guilty that the brunette felt so trapped.

_ “We never get this much snow,” Emily throws out. “It’s ridiculous. The plows haven’t even come by yet.” _

_ “Has it stopped snowing here?” _

_ “Um, yeah,” she looks back through the windows, then at Alison, “mostly. There’s still a few flakes falling here and there.” _

_ Alison nods, “Why are you up so early, anyway?” _

_ “The power went out about thirty minutes ago. I was already partially up when I heard everything shut down,” she explains, “but then the backup generator automatically came on.” _

_ Again, Alison nods, “I forgot we had one of those,” and she rubs at her eyes. “It’s probably super fucking old. Never understood why we needed it, in the first place.” _

_ The blonde looks down for a second and her eyes catch sight of one of the blankets that she had given Emily the night before. _

_ Rolling her eyes, she says, “I gave this to you, Em. I have my own,” and Emily looks to see what the girl’s talking about. _

_ Her brown eyes note that Alison is partially smiling about the entire thing, and she tries to smile back but it falls soon afterwards due to feeling extreme nerves for… what reason? _

_ “I figured that you could use it more than me,” she gets out, sounding super shy. _

_ Alison studies the other girl’s body language: she looks as if she’s about to fall asleep at any given moment, and her eyes are surrounded by dark circles, causing the blonde to feel ten times more guilty for keeping her trapped ━ even though it’s not exactly her fault. _

_ “You look tired, Em. You should get some more sleep. Here,” Alison gets off of the couch, standing up as she tosses the blankets onto the cushions, “you can have the couch this time. We’ll switch.” _

_ “I’m fine, Alison,” her voice sounds tired. “You need it more than I do.” _

_ The blonde’s arms go limp and she looks at the ceiling in mounting irritation. _

_ “Can you please stop telling me what I need and what I could use?” she pleads. “I know you want the best for me, Em, but my comfort isn’t my top priority right now,” her voice holds emphasis so Emily understands that she deserves to be cared for just as much. _

In the end, the brunette complied after a few more seconds of silently staring at Alison who wasn’t about to back down. She let out a sigh as she walked over to the couch, quickly scrunching up against one corner of the piece of furniture as she laid her head down on the back cushions so she was facing the other end. Within a moment, as Alison was walking away, she heard Emily clear her throat and turned back to see the brunette staring at her with half-lecturing, half-pleading eyes. When Alison narrowed her own eyes in question, Emily nodded towards the other corner of the couch. Alison hesitated, of course, but Emily’s constant, somewhat-sad stare broke her, and she found herself walking back so she could mimic the other girl’s position.

It wasn’t ideal, that’s for sure, because they both felt majorly cramped up at the time but, identical to the past day, neither girl wanted to voice what they were both thinking. At one point, Emily almost asked Alison to cuddle up to her so they could share the couch like they had many times previously, but, for some reason, the words wouldn’t come out, and Alison felt let down because she, too, was thinking the same thing. So, without speaking a word, the brunette curled up further, hoping that she left Alison as much room as possible.

After a while of silent staring, the two fell asleep (although neither can remember who fell asleep first), and woke up around 10:30 A.M. with sore necks due to their positions. When they began to move around and go through their (make-shift) morning routines, neither Emily nor Alison attempted to speak, resulting in a lot of awkward tension. From previous mornings together, the blonde understood that Emily enjoys coffee since it helps wake her up, so she brewed a fresh round for the girl while making herself a cup of tea that she doesn’t even enjoy. It continued to be silent throughout their breakfast, and they stood across from each other while occasionally━ 

The backup generator shuts off again, along with the rest of the power including the lights and most of the kitchen appliances. It’s been shutting off constantly, and the periodic power-loss has had Alison on edge for most of the time she’s been awake. It’s not helping her grumpiness, definitely not, and she groans whenever it goes off. This time, when it shut down just now, she groaned loudly and tossed her bowl of almost-finished cereal into the sink before rubbing at her eyes forcefully. Emily watches with sympathy as Alison massages her eyelids, though she minds her business because she doesn’t want to make the blonde girl even angrier, so she continues to finish off her bowl of cereal while occasionally taking sips of her coffee. Alison faces her again a moment later, crossing her arms as she leans back against the counter with tired eyes.

“If it keeps going off, I’ll make a fire,” Emily mutters with slight sympathy when Alison continues to fidget due to annoyance. 

“No, it’s fine,” Alison stresses and rubs at her eyelids like previously.

“Alison,” Emily gently scolds, “if you want me to cooperate with you, then you’re going to have to do the same. We’re going to have to work together because I’m pretty sure that I’ll be here for another overnight.”

Her voice holds a bit of stress and captivity, causing Alison’s eyes to water with a mixture of anger and hurt because, at this point, she’s almost ready to push Emily through the door since that’s all she seems to be wanting. Really, she wants to scream at the brunette to leave if that’s what she really wants, but her throat just tightens up and she has to walk away once her eyes water further. She shuffles out of the kitchen quickly, leaving a dumbfounded Emily standing in the same spot. The brunette’s eyebrows furrow as her eyes follow the girl who all but runs out of the kitchen, and, after scooping up her last two bites of cereal, she places the bowl in the sink, finishes her coffee, and takes three deep breaths. 

Once Emily feels good enough, she makes her way out of the kitchen and into the living room where Alison sits on the couch with her head in her hands. She swallows hard at the sight, and her lips part when she wants to go and wrap her arms around Alison, but, as of late, she just can’t bring herself to make any daring moves. So, after an extended period of time while wringing her hands, she gets out an unreadable “I’m going to shower,” and Alison looks up to offer a small head nod before going back to her previous position.

The blonde’s thoughts swirl quickly, resulting in a large headache as she rubs at her temples. It shouldn’t be this hard, she thinks, and maybe things will never get better. At this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if they just… never spoke again; it feels like they’re in a deep, dark hole, and this isn’t what Christmastime is supposed to feel like. 

At the thought, she feels a tear stream down her cheek, and she slaps it away as fast as possible. To keep her mind occupied (and, really, to feel less lonely), she picks up her phone, determined to send a text to Hanna:

_ “Hope you’re having a better morning than I am. :)” _

It’s bitter, that’s for sure, but it’s how she feels and she’s not about to put on some stupid facade. While she waits for a text back from Hanna, the blonde sends a separate text to Emily’s mom, just letting her know what’s up with everything:

_ “Not sure if you heard but it’s still pretty bad out. I think Em is staying over again. Hope that’s okay.” _

The text sounds dry and maybe a bit childlike, but Alison admires her relationship with Emily’s mom so much that, normally, she updates the woman on where they are and/or what they’re doing (for the most part) ━ not to mention the fact that, occasionally, she still finds herself asking for the woman’s permission when it comes to sleepovers. It’s odd to some people, but it’s what Alison is used to and she wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship.

The phone vibrates in her hand, and Alison quickly opens the message from Mrs. Fields:

_ “That’s more than okay! Have a nice night. I’m sure I’ll hear from you two sometime soon.” _

Alison smiles softly. Before she can put her phone down, she sees a notification from Hanna drift downwards from the top of her screen and she opens the message:

_ “I’m going to kick her ass if she continues being a little bitch.” _

She breathes out a laugh, more so because she knows that Hanna and Emily would literally fight each other if they knew everything would be okay in the end. On occasion, Alison has actually thought of allowing the two to go at it just for the sake of them getting some aggression out, but she knows that someone would end up injured and it just wouldn’t be a good time.

Instead of texting back, Alison sighs and tosses her phone onto the coffee table when she doesn’t know what to say in response. She leans back so she’s against the couch cushions, and her eyes slam shut once they feel too dry from the cold, winter air.

“I’m going to go brush off our cars again,” Emily’s voice makes Alison jump, and the brunette almost snorts at the reaction but, thankfully, she keeps on a stone-like expression.

Without getting an answer, Emily begins to walk over to the front door, afterwards standing in front of the barrier once she has a pair of old boots and a jacket on. When Alison can focus, she notes that the other girl’s hair is dry and put up in a messy bun, but she pushes herself off of the couch so she can walk over to Emily who watches her with a frown. Without saying anything, Alison gives her a tight-lipped smile and shoves a pair of gloves and a hat into the girl’s hands, offering a now-bitter smile afterwards. Emily rolls her eyes at the silent lecture, and she tugs on the winter hat and gloves before showing her own sharp, annoyed smile. Before Alison can capitalize, the girl walks through the front door and the wind slams it shut, leaving an eye-rolling blonde standing nearby; she knows they’re both being super childish, but she can’t exactly help it because, well, she’s hurting ━ and, apparently, so is Emily. 

She lets out a loud groan and walks away from the door, dramatically storming up the stairs so she can take her mind off of things by showering ━ hopefully. As she gets to the last step, she remembers that Emily just showered, and she prays that the brunette left her some hot water because, if not, that’ll just be one more thing to make her wish that she was asleep for the entire winter.

Her feet take her into her bedroom where she quickly picks out a pair of panties, a bra, some pajama pants, and another matching t-shirt. When she debates on whether or not she’ll feel as though she’s freezing to death later on, she snatches one of Emily’s hoodies from her designated drawer. Obviously, she has her own sweatshirts and hoodies, but she’d always rather be wearing one of the brunette’s, and, if you asked Emily, she’d admit that she thoroughly enjoys the sight just as much. Once she has everything gathered ━ including her favorite perfume (well, mostly Emily’s favorite) ━ she moves into the bathroom and gets the shower ready, silently thanking every higher power in the universe when steam quickly fills the space.

After waiting for a minute or so, Alison steps into the shower and the hot water hits her skin. She sighs at the feeling, reveling in it because she’s been so damn stressed over everything. Really, she doesn’t  _ ever  _ want to leave the shower and, actually, she waits quite a while before starting her shampooing and rinsing routine, but she knows that, eventually, she’s going to have to face Emily again. Her head tilts back as she lets out another deep breath, mentally preparing herself because she feels as though some shit is going to happen today. The blonde is surprised they haven’t gotten into a screaming match already, if she’s being honest, and she wonders how long it’ll be until they blow up on each other. It’s not like she  _ wants  _ it to happen, and it shouldn’t even be a constant thought but, for the last day or so, it  _ has  _ been ━ and she can feel it coming.

She washes her body quickly, suddenly feeling grossed out by her own skin because, recently, she just feels like she despises herself for everything ━ like everything is her fault. Her throat begins to tighten up as she continues, eventually rubbing her hands across her stomach, and she purses her lips on contact because tears are threatening to spill over and it’s all becoming way too much for her to handle. Alison rolls her eyes a few seconds later, slightly washing her face with warm water because showering was  _ supposed to  _ rid her mind of the rampant thoughts. A lot of good that did, she thinks. 

Sighing, Alison shuts off the water which, surprisingly, didn’t lose its warmth throughout her extensive rinsing, causing her to wonder if the brunette had purposely saved most for her. She steps out of the space and ends up on the soft mat that lies on the floor, wringing out her hair as her thoughts swirl. As she plays with her hair, an idea comes to mind and, within seconds, she’s getting ready to fix it up in a nice way because she knows that she deserves to feel good about herself and, possibly, making herself look good will make her feel…  _ okay _ , at least.

Her clothes are quickly thrown on before she dresses in Emily’s hoodie. It smells like the brunette, she notices, and her lips curve into a soft smile as she enjoys the scent. In order to not get too distracted, she shakes her head and reaches for the blow dryer, afterwards turning it on and playing with her hair while simultaneously hoping that it comes out how she wants it to because, if not, that would just fuck up her mood even more.

Luckily, after quite a bit of playing with her blonde strands, her hair looks nice, almost as if she’s about to go out on a date. It makes her feel better for a split second, and she pinches pieces of her hair between her fingers to fix it every now and then. Soon, however, she looks in the mirror and smiles as much as she can, only to see the expression fall flat as her heart begins to feel heavy. Again, Alison shakes her head at the entire situation, and she feels like she’s about to cry for what seems like the thousandth time today ━ and it’s only slightly past noon. She closes her hair products and tosses them into the nearby holder, listening to the small slams of the items when they hit the bottom of the basket.

“Whatever,” she says aloud to no one in particular. 

She’s walking out of the bathroom a minute later, stepping foot into her old bedroom which she had recently dubbed her new, “reinvented” room. Once everything with Elliott-Archer-Rollins- _ whoever _ had gone down, she couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping in the master bedroom ━ not even with Emily. The sheets would tug at her skin and the comforter felt as though it burnt her limbs, so she woke up one night and slept in her old, pastel-adorned bedroom, shoving some packed boxes off of the mattress before heading into a  _ very  _ sleepless early morning. After that, she began working on the room in her free time, just changing minor things here and there while simultaneously getting a more “grown up” bedspread. At first, Emily raised an eyebrow at the change, more so because she felt worried for Alison, but the blonde just explained that she felt more comfortable in the space, so, in the end, everything worked out.

She moves further into the room and passes the dresser while her blue eyes catch sight of a picture of her and Emily. Her smile is genuine this time, and she studies the older photo, noting their obvious happiness in their younger years.

“Everything was so simple,” comes the whisper, and she turns away from the picture while biting her inner cheek.

Next, her eyes catch sight of the bed in front of her, and she  _ knows  _ that she should tear herself away from the sight and obvious memories but she just can’t. The sheets and comforter are still messed up from the other day since she hasn’t had time to make the bed, and she swallows hard as she finally forces herself to look away. Unfortunately, that doesn’t last long, and she storms over to the piece of furniture so she can make the bed look less slept-in (or  _ slept _ -in). Her hands frantically grasp at the sheets and comforter, tugging them upwards so they cover the pillows as much as possible. Alison tries to keep her breathing steady as she does so, though she’s starting to feel far past overwhelmed by the whole situation ━  _ and  _ the memories.

_ “Wait,” Emily lies flat on her back, looking at the semi-undressed girl above her. _

_ Her hands come to a standstill just underneath Alison’s bra, feeling the soft skin below her fingertips. Alison breathes heavily and tries her best to focus, having been lost in the heat of the moment for at least twenty minutes now. The blonde looks at her expectantly with growing confusion. _

_ “Are you sure you’re… ready?” Emily pauses before the word, not knowing how to ask what she’s thinking since it’s not like this is their first time ever having sex, but it’ll be their first time in years. _

_ Sure, Alison is the one who suggested this entire thing, but who knows if she’s ready to go all the way already, and Emily always puts the blonde’s comfort before her own. _

_ “We don’t have to do anything until you’re positive, Ali.” _

_ Alison smiles sweetly (though it’s a bit timid), and she leans down so she can kiss Emily’s bottom lip. When she backs up an inch, her eyes flutter open and so do the brunette’s, and Alison nods with a soft “I want you.” _

_ In response, Emily feels like the atmosphere thickened ten times more, and her lips part at the admission because it’s all she’s ever really wanted to hear from the girl who hovers above her ━ even if the statement was said during these sorts of circumstances. _

_ When the brunette just stares back at her as if she’s too nervous to make any sudden moves, Alison takes matters into her own hands and leans down again, kissing Emily with greater force and passion. She feels something stirring in her core, shooting through her body as her hips shift when the tanned girl’s hands drift down her stomach and towards her ass to pull her forward. _

_ Alison suddenly backs up, her lips lingering not even an inch away as she breathes heavily. Emily doesn’t stop her ministrations and Alison moans at the feeling, her breath hitting the brunette’s lips as she chokes out “Do you want me too?” _

_ Instead of replying, Emily flips them over, pressing Alison against the mattress as her lips find their way to the blonde’s neck, throat, chest, and downwards. When she comes back up to face Alison, she kisses her lips once, offers a nervous head-nod matched with an affirming “Mhm,” and drifts back downwards while her mouth presses against the blonde’s soft skin.  _

Alison releases a shaky breath, but it sounds more like a whine as her eyes slam shut. When she opens them, she braces herself for the rest of the day, and her legs take her out of the bedroom so she can go back downstairs while smelling fresh and clean. The staircase seems longer than usual, and she has no idea if it’s because she suddenly feels sick or if it’s because of her emotional state, but she makes it into the living room where she sees Emily sitting on the couch as she taps away on her phone. As Alison approaches, the brunette breathes out and plugs her phone in, muttering a small “Okay” to herself when the device says it’s charging. Afterwards, she puts her head in her hands for a brief moment, then she’s startled by Alison who walks towards the windows and looks outside. 

Her blue eyes roam the front yard, barely being able to see a damn thing because the snow covers most of everything including the majority of the mailbox. She sees Emily’s footprints and wonders how the girl even managed to walk through the snow with sweatpants, then turns back to see that the brunette changed her pants. She nods, more so to herself, and Emily stares at Alison who stands there, arms limp at her sides while her sleeves cover her fingertips. 

Emily’s mouth opens and closes a few times, not knowing what to say, but eventually she explains, “I didn’t get to shovel anything yet, but the cars are cleared off,” and the blonde nods at the statement because, really, she didn’t exactly care enough to ask in the first place. On the other hand, at least the brunette is talking now. She makes a face at the thought, still standing in the same spot as she picks at a thread on Emily’s hoodie.

The girl sitting on the couch looks at Alison again, and her eyes drift down to see her hoodie on the blonde’s torso. She tries to hide a smile but can’t, and Alison watches the girl’s lips curve into a tiny grin before she forcefully looks away and clears her throat.

“You look nice,” she comments, not facing Alison again. “Are you going somewhere?” comes the slight joke, and the other girl breathes out a small laugh.

“No, I was hoping that making myself look nice would help me feel happier.”

Emily’s lips part again in sadness yet slight understanding, feeling partially rejected as she looks down at her hands while playing with her fingers. Alison, on the other hand, bites at her inner cheek and looks around the room, not knowing where they go from here because, honestly, everything is just so  _ awkward  _ and she wishes that she had never mentioned a damn thing.

“What do you want for dinner?” Alison tries to come up with a new topic, mentally smacking herself for not thinking of something better.

“I don’t care,” Emily shrugs. “Whatever’s easiest to make.”

The blonde sighs, “That’d be soup.”

“Then make soup.”

“We had soup last night.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but I do,” her eyes widen as she throws out the rebuttal.

Emily huffs, “I don’t know what you want me to say,” and she looks at Alison with tired eyes.

Without responding, the blonde walks away; she’s sick of this, and she’s close to blowing up on Emily who seems just as stubborn. Honestly, sometimes she misses the Emily that was completely open and much less reluctant, but, in the end, she’s happy that they’ve both grown because, now, she doesn’t feel like she can just… plow over the brunette’s feelings whenever she pleases and, now, Alison has her own feelings to worry about. It’s just times like these that suck, and, as she gets into the kitchen, she begins to feel nauseous. All she wants to do is lie down, but, within seconds, she’s quickly making her way towards the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

While Emily is sitting in the living room, she sees the other girl practically bolt into the bathroom, and her eyebrows furrow with a tinge of sympathy. She waits a few minutes, however, because she doesn’t want to seem too overbearing, but, after her worries eat at her more and more by the second, she walks over to the bathroom and stands by the door. At first, she wonders if she should go and sit back down, pretending that she hadn’t just stood outside the door while Alison did whatever inside, but she decides against the idea, especially when she hears a sharp sniffle come from within the bathroom walls.

“Ali, are you okay?” Emily asks as she leans her head against the door, feeling guilty because Alison shouldn’t have to deal with any of this.

No answer comes at first, but she eventually hears the blonde say, “Yeah,” although Emily can tell that she’s crying (or  _ has been  _ crying) because her voice sounds choked up and forced.

Instead of commenting, Emily waits outside of the bathroom, just standing around as she crosses her arms. It takes another two minutes before Alison exits, and, when she does, her eyes are red and puffy while her nose looks a faint shade of pink. Otherwise, her skin looks pale, and Emily wonders if it’s because she doesn’t feel good or because of the house’s cold temperature. Either way, she looks horrible, and Emily frowns as her eyes study Alison’s face.

“What’s wrong?” she looks completely concerned, and Alison feels her heart flutter slightly at the sentiment because the brunette has been walking on glass for the past day.

“I don’t feel good. I’m fine, though,” Alison sways as she stands in the same spot, offering Emily a tight-lipped smile as the brunette still has her arms crossed with a creased forehead.

Emily reaches out and holds the back of her hand against the other girl’s forehead, afterwards allowing her fingertips to brush against Alison’s cheek. When she understands that the blonde is likely  _ not  _ catching a cold, she nods in slight relief but continues to look at Alison with concern.

“Maybe you should lie down, Ali.”

“I’ll be okay. I just feel sick sometimes. One of the perks of being pregnant, I guess,” she speaks sarcastically, walking away.

“No, Alison, stop,” Emily pleads with an exhausted tone and the blonde turns around.

She continues, “How about I rest with you? We can get comfortable on the couch and watch a movie.”

At first, Alison hesitates while wondering if Emily expects them to sleep in separate corners again, but, as the brunette takes her hand and pulls her towards the living room with a soft grip, she begins to feel nervous. Once she’s in front of the couch, Emily gives her a look that says “sit down,” and Alison complies while the other girl moves over to the windows in order to close the curtains. The brunette is lying along the couch a minute later, draping a blanket over their bodies as Alison cuddles up to her. The blonde is tucked against the back of the couch, attempting to snuggle with Emily as much as possible, but the girl lying on her back seems… misplaced.

The Christmas movie that plays on the TV nearby rolls on, and Alison begins to grow frustrated with the other girl’s stiffness. Usually, Emily will rub circles on her back or create patterns with her fingertips, but, for this entire cuddle session, her hand hasn’t moved an inch and Alison begins to feel rejected. It seems like they don’t even know each other anymore, and the thought alone wracks at Alison’s brain as her throat feels as though it’s closing up. So, before she falls asleep against Emily’s chest, a tear slips out of the corner of her eye while the brunette, herself, eventually drifts into a light slumber.

 

X X X

 

Alison rubs at her eyes as her body begins to wake up. She faintly hears the sound of a fire nearby, and her nose twitches at the new scent. Luckily, it smells mostly like firewood and less like smoke, so it doesn’t burn her throat like it used to when her father would use the fireplace. Eventually, she’s able to open her eyes fully as she shifts along the cushions, not feeling or seeing a body underneath her. She looks around, eventually glancing towards the fireplace where Emily kneels, poking at the flames as she moves the wood around. Alison stretches slightly, cracking her back in the process as she grimaces at her achy limbs. She reaches for her phone a moment afterwards, checking the time that reads 5:04 P.M. Her hands reach for her face, rubbing at her eyelids once again before letting her arms flop against the fabric surrounding her.

The brunette looks backwards for the first time in a few minutes, glancing at Alison who now stares at the ceiling. Her lips twitch into a tiny smile, but it fades when she turns back to the fire. Once she’s done, she moves the fireplace protector and puts it back in its former position, keeping the embers inside the confined, stone space. As she gets up, she brushes her hands off, eventually standing in front of Alison who now stares at her with a blank, sleepy expression. They have another silent stare-off, still feeling too stubborn to talk about anything ━ not that Alison would  _ want  _ to since she just woke up ━ before Emily rubs her lips together and sighs as she looks down at her hands. She picks at her dry skin, afterwards allowing her arms to go limp at her sides. Alison remains looking at her, eyes narrowed slightly because the brunette seems even more awkward than she did when they first fell asleep a few hours ago.

“I’m going to shovel for a bit,” Emily gets out, never looking at Alison. “I’ll be back.”

She walks away from the blonde who sits up on the cushions, furrowing her eyebrows at Emily who all but runs over to the door. The girl quickly puts on her boots and jacket, afterwards tugging on the hat and gloves. As Alison calls out the brunette’s name so she slows down, Emily pretends she didn’t hear and opens the door, not leaving time for the blonde to call out again as it slams behind her.

Emily descends the front porch steps, almost falling into the snow since she only shoveled a few feet from the landing. She huffs and soon groans once she begins tossing pounds of snow in various directions. Yeah, she’s used to shoveling during the wintertime, but  _ definitely  _ not this much. Really, she has no idea how or  _ why  _ they got this much snow at this specific time when her and Alison aren’t on the best of terms, but, clearly, the weather wants them to sort things out because, otherwise, she’d still be avoiding the blonde as much as possible. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk things out, but she’s  _ scared _ ; Emily truly has no idea what Alison’s intentions are. Sure, the blonde isn’t the same person she was as a young teen (and even after that), but she’s never exactly shown the most interest. That’s a lie, Emily thinks, and there have been so many signs, but the brunette has way too many doubts to even begin to formulate what it could mean for them.

Her arms and lower back grow sore as she finishes two rows of shoveling along the driveway’s area. She groans loudly, throwing her head back as she stands there. Realizing that she likely won’t get the entire driveway done today because, honestly, she’s just too exhausted, Emily makes a goal to finish at least half of the driveway. She starts from the top, shoveling snow in various directions and changing her tactic every now and then. It works out for the most part, but she feels sweat coating her skin and it irritates her severely. Once she finishes what she’d set out to do, she gives up and walks over to the front porch where she tosses the shovel nearby. She’s sitting down a moment later, rubbing at her eyes forcefully once she takes her gloves off.

_ “I don’t know what I want anymore, Em,” Alison shakes her head severely, afterwards sighing as she leans backwards against the couch cushions. “I want… closure. I want to feel okay, for the first time in my life.” _

_ The other girl nods slowly, studying Alison’s body language. _

_ Blue eyes flicker to Emily suddenly, and the blonde whispers, “What do you want?” _

_ Emily hesitates; she has no idea what to say at the moment because, honestly, she wants Alison and always has, but she’s not ready to get her heart broken when she hears the words “No, I just needed comfort that night, Em.” She knows they’re coming sooner or later, so she feels like it’s just best if she… kept to herself. Suddenly, her fingers become super interesting and she plays with them while staring downwards, completely avoiding Alison’s gaze.  _

_ Alison, likewise, doesn’t want to be rejected. No, she’s never exactly been rejected by Emily aside from a time or two when everything was way too jumbled ━ and, let’s be honest, it still is ━ but she doesn’t think she’d be able to handle hearing the words “I’m finally over you, Ali.” So, when the brunette continues to hesitate, Alison covers her tracks, hoping that the suggestion will satisfy both of them. _

_ “How about we try… something purely physical? Like, no feelings, no strings attached. Just…” she pauses, being at a loss for words because, as the suggestion falls from her lips, she thinks it sounds absolutely ridiculous, and it’s so absurd that her lips curve into a small smile at the entire concept.  _

_ At first, Emily doesn’t react to the idea. Honestly, her mind was already going a mile per minute before Alison had suggested the idea of being friends with benefits, but now she feels… hurt. Sure, physically being with Alison is great, and it’s something that’s been branded into her memory a time before, but how could she ever have “no feelings”? How could she deal with sleeping with Alison, only to leave in the morning? She has no idea how she could ever━ _

_ The brunette nods with pursed lips and a growing smile covering her features, hoping that the reaction will rid her mind of any shitty thoughts. Maybe, she thinks, this will be good for her, and, possibly, it’ll get her over Alison once and for all. _

Emily rolls her eyes at herself; why on Earth would she believe that having sex with Alison will help her get over whatever they are and whatever they could be? It was an idiotic agreement from the start, and now she’s stuck in a pickle because  _ of course _ she wants to talk about things and obviously she’d love to just…  _ kiss  _ Alison after calling the blonde her girlfriend, but her mind still believes that, potentially, she could be falling into a trap. What if Alison left within months? What if she just… cut Emily off? God, how would she bounce back from that?

In the end, the girl shakes her head and pushes herself off of the porch steps. She takes a deep breath before shoving the door open, only to walk in and see Alison lost in thought as she sits in the same spot, staring at the coffee table. Emily closes the door softly, not wanting to disturb the girl, but, in the end, the sound breaks Alison’s train of thought and blue eyes snap upward to meet brown. Without locking eyes for too long, Emily tugs her snow clothes off and tosses them nearby, afterwards scurrying into the bathroom so she can change her sweatpants ━  _ again _ .

When she re-enters the living room, Alison is in the same position, and Emily wonders if the blonde loathes her for this entire visit. She doesn’t want to be so awkward, obviously, but it’s difficult being anything other than weird-acting when she’s torn between seeming like a girlfriend and being a normal friend ━ not that they’ve ever exactly been plain ole’ friends.

“I couldn’t finish the driveway because there’s way too much snow right now,” Emily explains as she walks further into the room.

“Do you want me to help?” 

“No, you don’t need…” her voice trails off as Alison gives her a pair of “don’t even say it” eyes.

She corrects herself, “No, I’ll finish tomorrow sometime.”

Alison doesn’t respond, and Emily’s eyes drift over to the fire which is quickly dying. She huffs as she walks over to the fireplace, hastily pulling the protector away from the area so she can poke at the orange-glowing logs. When only pieces of log fly off and nothing catches fire, she adds another piece of wood and some kindling, praying that it won’t die out. Her father taught her how take care of a fire quite a while ago, and she smiles at the memory because, while he was teaching her, a piece of paper flew out of the chimney and the rest of the kindling pile almost went up in flames. She shakes her head and continues to poke at the fire with the metal rod.

The blonde watches Emily fix the fire and she smiles softly, but quickly begins to flash back to when she first  _ really  _ noticed her feelings for the brunette due to the current fluttering in her gut. Sure, the feelings had always been there to some degree and she knew it, but, at that very moment, it felt as though she walked straight into a brick wall, and she remembers the instance so vividly. It’s like, one minute they were labeled “friends with benefits,” and, the next, Alison wanted them to be much more. Really, she had been internally classifying them as “dating” the entire time, which she hadn’t realized until severe jealousy coursed through her body.

_ It’s lunchtime at Rosewood High which means both Emily and Alison are currently in the midst of their free periods. Not even three minutes after the lunch-bell rang, Alison temporarily locked up her classroom and began making her way towards the brunette’s locker room-bound office.  _

_ She walks through the hallways with a soft, determined smile, thoroughly enjoying the day since Emily had stayed over the night before ━ and the night before that, and so forth. Really, she’s even thought about proposing the idea of just living together to make things easier, but that’d destroy the entire “friends with benefits” concept, right? At the time, she shook her head at the thought, mentally scolding herself since she’s the one who had said, “No strings attached. Just…” and then she paused, smiling when she realized that the idea seemed ridiculous, but Emily nodded anyways ━ after a bit of hesitation, Alison noted. _

_ She rounds the corner and enters the girls’ locker room, eventually finding Emily’s office. The door is open and, as she approaches, she sees the brunette sitting at her desk. She looks frustrated, and Alison frowns at the girl’s body language: she’s slumped over with her head in one of her hands, staring at a piece of paper that rests on the desk below her eyes. _

_ Alison stops in the doorway, not being noticed by the other girl until she softly knocks on the door while wearing a smile. _

_ Emily looks up and a smile of her own appears, “Hey, Ali.” _

_ The blonde looks around the locker room and sees no one, so she steps into the girl’s office before closing the door behind her. She locks it quickly, afterwards moving over to the lone window that peeks into the locker room, and she shuts the blinds a second later. The brunette’s brown eyes watch her the entire time, barely moving from her former position except for the fact that she’s removed her head from her hand. _

_ Alison approaches the sitting girl but ends up leaning against one of the corners of her desk. She reaches for Emily’s right hand and holds it between their bodies, playing with the girl’s fingers. Emily studies her and smiles as much as she can, but her eyes seem super lidded, and Alison slightly frowns like previously. _

_ “Tired?” the blonde questions with a tinge of concern laced in her voice.  _

_ Emily breathes out a laugh, “Exhausted, actually.” _

_ “Hm,” comes the soft hum from Alison before she gets up and rounds Emily’s chair. _

_ She stands behind the brunette and begins massaging her shoulders, making sure to be gentle yet firm at the same time. Emily allows herself to enjoy the gesture, and she relaxes as Alison continues. _

_ “Why are you so exhausted?” Alison wonders, continuing to grasp the other girl’s muscles. _

_ “I have no idea,” she gets out with a deep sigh. _

_ “Is it because of me?” the blonde asks quietly, briefly stopping. “We don’t have to…” she pauses before starting a new sentence, “Em, you always have the option to stop this…” her throat tightens for an unknown reason, “‘friends with benefits’ thing, you know. I don’t want to force you into anything, especially when you’re so tired.” _

_ “It’s not you,” Emily says and the girl’s hands start to work again. _

_ She continues, “I think I’m just overthinking things. Everything, I mean. Lately I’m so… jumbled.” _

_ “Have you been sleeping?” _

_ “You know the answer to that, Ali,” she partly laughs. “Yes, I’ve been sleeping great.” _

_ Alison blushes, though the other girl can’t see. _

_ “I don’t know,” Emily breathes out. “I’m just so tired. Then I get in here and Paige is on my case about whatever this is,” she pushes the paper away. _

_ The blonde rolls her eyes at the mention of Emily’s ex who just so happens to be the tanned girl’s assistant for coaching. Unintentionally, her grip tightens before she backs up when Emily rolls her neck, and the brunette turns in her chair as Alison walks towards the door with crossed arms. Internally, she scolds herself for looking so-obviously jealous, and she can tell that Emily noticed since the girl is now staring at her as she walks around near the doorway, pretending as though nothing happened. _

_ “Ali,” Emily’s eyebrows furrow as she calls the girl’s name, but she’s ignored. _

_ Alison’s eyes look away as she stares at the floor in front of her, still standing practically pressed against the door while she bites her lower lip in annoyance. _

_ “Alison,” she tries and, this time, the blonde looks at her with irritated eyes. _

_ “Are you jealous?” comes the question. _

_ “What?” Alison throws back before lying with a sharp “No.” _

_ She begins to panic on the inside, mostly because, currently, she’s being hit with feeling after feeling while realizing that she’s way more attached to the girl who’s starting to walk towards her. Alison tries to look away as much as she can, keeping her arms crossed in defense while she shifts her jaw. As Emily approaches her with that “I know you’re lying to me” type of stare, Alison shuffles backwards until she completely feels the thick, cool, wooden door. Soon, the brunette is standing only a foot away, and her gaze bores into Alison’s evading eyes. _

_ “She’s just my assistant coach, Alison,” Emily explains with a quiet tone, and the other girl can see a faint smile crossing the brunette’s lips. _

_ “Mhm,” she gets out through pursed lips, still looking away. _

_ “She’s just a friend,” comes the next statement. _

_ “So am I,” Alison finally looks at Emily who seems hurt for a fraction of a second, but the girl recovers quickly and nods. _

_ “Mhm,” she hums, then takes a single step forward so their noses are brushing against one another.  _

_ The blonde tries to breathe steadily, but, when their lips lightly move against each other for a moment, she partially whimpers, and Emily grins at the sound as she begins to kiss Alison’s lips. As their lip-lock gets severely deeper within the passing minutes, Alison feels her back being pressed against the door even more than before, and her nails scrape at Emily’s shoulders through her shirt. The brunette’s hands wander at the same time, ending up on Alison’s lower waist as she presses the girl further into the door while one of her thighs moves between the blonde’s legs. _

_ Alison moans into Emily’s mouth, her lips curving into a smile against the brunette’s as they continue to kiss while pressed against the girl’s office door. Eventually, as time rolls on, Emily puts her right hand on the door so she can hold herself up, allowing her left hand to wander underneath Alison’s dress as the blonde partially hooks her leg on the girl’s hip. _

_ “Fuck,” Alison groans as Emily’s lips trail down her neck, nipping at the skin every now and then while her fingertips travel up the blonde’s thigh. _

_ “You better not leave any marks, Em,” she manages to get out, though the end is a moan because the brunette bites down at the precise moment.  _

_ When Emily doesn’t even hum in response (and, instead, seems even more determined), Alison breathes out a slightly scolding “I mean it.” _

_ Not even a second later, Emily kisses her way back upwards and locks lips with Alison again, muffling the blonde’s soft noises as her fingers tease the girl through her underwear. _

_ Suddenly, they hear Paige’s voice come through the door, and Alison’s eyes fly open as Emily backs up with parted lips, stopping all movements. The blonde raises an eyebrow, especially when Paige asks, “Emily, are you in there?” as if she’s standing right on the other side of the door. _

_ She can tell that Emily is debating on pretending that she’s not in the room, and Alison shoots her a daring look before she smirks, leans forward, and begins placing sloppy kisses against the girl’s tanned skin. Again, they hear Paige call out “Emily?” and she sounds like she hasn’t moved an inch, so the brunette ignores the other girl but Alison, getting irritated solely because of Paige’s existence, elbows the door behind them so the girl knows that Emily is inside ━ just to complicate things, she smiles against the soft skin underneath her mouth. _

_ “Emily, I hear you moving around,” Paige’s dull voice comes through like before. _

_ The brunette backs up with wide, accusing yet disbelieving eyes, and Alison smirks heavily before pulling her closer by the back of her neck. The blonde’s tongue drags up Emily’s throat, followed by her lips planting open-mouthed kisses along the girl’s jaw. _

_ “Can you answer me?” again, she sounds as if she’s standing right outside the door, and the brunette thanks every higher power for the school’s thick, solid doors because she can barely control her breathing. _

_ “Yeah, Paige?” Emily tries, but she sounds like she’s in pain because, really, she is ━ but it’s the best pain, and she feels like she’s going to combust.  _

_ “Did you finish looking at the chart I asked you to check?” _

_ Alison’s mouth continues to toy with the girl who still presses her against the door, and her free hand sneaks underneath the brunette’s shirt. Her fingertips drag up and down, scratching at the tanned girl’s skin as Emily’s jaw falls open at the feeling. _

_ She chokes out a sharp “Not yet,” and Alison bites at her neck, afterwards soothing the skin with small, wet pecks.  _

_ “Well, can you hurry up with it? We need it before practice today.” _

_ As Emily goes to reply “Fine,” the blonde’s hand wanders lower and ends up between her legs while remaining over her pants, creating a spike in friction at the exact moment she tries to speak, resulting in some sort of groan instead of the intended word. _

_ Paige doesn’t respond at first, and Emily almost wonders if the girl left before she tried to reply, but, after a long pause, the girl on the other side of the door sounds concerned. _

_ “Em, are you okay?” _

_ “I’m fine,” she gets out. “Just busy.” _

_ “Okay…” Paige mumbles, and the two can hear her walking somewhere further away, followed by a hollow-sounding door closing. _

_ Suddenly, all of Alison’s ministrations stop, and her blue eyes stare at Emily who struggles to level her breathing. Eventually, the brunette locks eyes with the girl who’s still pressed against the door, and she licks her lips before letting out a small laugh. _

_ “Why would you do that?” she asks with now-wide eyes. _

_ Alison shrugs with an innocent expression, blinking rapidly as she matches it with a smile. _

_ Emily takes a deep breath, and, when she looks up, Alison is reaching for the doorknob so she can unlock it.  _

_ “What are you doing?” the brunette’s hand is still on the door, but she lets her arm go limp at her side once Alison opens the barrier. _

_ “Um… I have to go teach,” Alison speaks as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and you have to work on your chart.” _

_ Emily presses her tongue to her cheek and looks away with a slight frown. Alison notices and flashes her a sad smile, afterwards taking a step forward and pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth.  _

_ “We’ll finish this later,” she promises, but Emily can only manage a small grin. _

_ Alison doesn’t know what else to say, so she backs out of the compact office. Before she walks out of the locker room, however, she laughs softly, earning a confused look from Emily who lingers in the doorway as she watches the blonde back away. _

_ “You might want to hide the marks on your neck, Em,” Alison comments with a smug expression. “They’re pretty unprofessional.”  _

_ Emily glares at Alison, lips slightly parted as her cheeks grow red. Upon seeing the reaction, the blonde smirks, tilts her head, and walks away as she sways her hips and leaves the locker room. _

Alison recalls walking back towards her classroom, and all she could think about was how irritated she became when Paige showed up ━ and, well, when she was mentioned. Yeah, she’s always been a bit fierce when it comes to Paige, but this was different; she felt… possessive, in a way, but not in the “she’s mine, back off” kind of way. Mostly, she feels like Emily could leave if she wanted to, and she could choose Paige if she ever (God forbid) wanted to, and the entire thought terrifies her. Really, the brunette could leave at any given moment. She could walk through the door (once the snow melts), and she could, potentially, choose to ignore their feelings forever. Maybe she will, Alison thinks.

The blonde’s eyes start to water suddenly, and she doesn’t even notice that Emily has been sitting across from her for an extended amount of time now. The fire cracks nearby, having grown since Emily last tended to it, and Alison continues to stare at the table in front of her as she gets lost in her tormenting thoughts. The tanned girl stares at her, and she frowns when she can tell that Alison is seconds away from crying.

“Ali,” Emily breathes out as her eyes go wide when she sees the blonde girl’s lip quivering while she tries to look away from the worried expression. 

The brunette stands up and maneuvers towards the couch so she can sit next to Alison who tries to put as much distance between them as possible in fear that she’ll just cling to Emily without getting any words out; she knows that, if they’re going to progress in whatever-the-fuck this relationship is and/or is  _ becoming _ , they have to talk through pure honesty ━ both of them.

When Alison pushes over, Emily’s eyebrows furrow with slight rejection and even more worry, and she purses her lips as she looks away because she isn’t sure what to do when tears start to stream down the other girl’s rosy cheeks ━ especially since Alison, apparently, doesn’t want to be held like usual.

“What’s going on, Alison? Whatever’s happening between us… is that…?” she doesn’t want to assume it’s the real reason because, well, what if it isn’t? On the other hand, she doesn’t exactly want to make it come off like it’s not a big deal to her, personally, but━ 

“I’m not prepared to be alone,” the girl looks down and hugs her stomach, grimacing slightly as she clenches her jaw and forces her eyes away from Emily who makes a face as if the statement is completely foreign.

“What are you talking about? I’m right here, Ali, and I’m not going anywhere,” her eyes search the other girl’s face.

Her tone sounds super offended, and Alison almost scoffs at it because the brunette’s been trying to avoid the subject as much as possible.

“Do you hear yourself, Emily?” Alison’s voice cracks. “You’ve been practically tiptoeing around me for the past day just because I asked if we could talk about what we actually are instead of ignoring it for the rest of our goddamn lives,” she explains while tears flow down her cheeks with no signs of stopping. 

She continues through heavy breaths, “Even when we were cuddling on the couch, you were acting as if I’m some stranger,” she chokes, “and now you’re trying to promise me that you’re not going anywhere after the snow melts? Like I’m going to believe that after how you’ve been acting.” 

“I don’t know what you expect me to say! I don’t even know what you want from me!”

“I want honesty, and I want you to stop pretending that you’re fine with fucking around and then leaving the next morning. It’s like I mean nothing to you.”

“That’s not fair, Alison,” Emily shakes her head. 

“How is it not fair?!”

“Because you’re the one who suggested this entire thing, and now you’re acting like I’m the one who wanted it in the first place!” instead of looking angry, the brunette looks shattered, and Alison shakes her head just as much as Emily did prior, shifting her jaw so hard that she could probably break it off if she wanted.

“I thought I’d be able to handle it, alright?” her voice cracks every time she speaks now and, every time, Emily wants to hug her because it’s only happened in the worst situations.

She continues, “I wanted to be close to you without having to  _ think  _ about everything or possibly being rejected but, God, I can’t do it. I know I used to be heartless, Emily, but people change, okay? People can fucking change, but no one seems to think I’m a genuine person,” her eyes drift downwards, losing all power to go on with the argument as if every thought in her mind just…  _ evaporated _ , “and maybe that’s what you think too,” she finishes.

“Of course I know you’ve changed,” Emily breathes out with more frustration, “but you’ve never even tried to explain what you want us to be, Ali. How am I supposed to━”

“You never gave me the chance, Emily! The whole reason as to why we’re having this conversation right now is because I tried to tell you how I really feel and you completely shut down. What do you expect me to do? Lock you in a room with a slideshow so I can finally get through to you? That’s not me and you know it. If you want me just as much as I want you, you’d at least make an effort to read between the lines.”

“I shut down because I can’t stand the thought of this ending like every other time, Alison! I’m sick of letting myself feel just to be shoved away. After that kiss… I don’t know. I panicked for days,” her voice sounds strained, and she doesn’t face the blonde as she speaks. 

She continues, “All I wanted was to hear you say that it wasn’t a mistake, and that we could finally…  _ be together _ . I left Sabrina because I was so goddamn conflicted. I waited for you to say something, or at least  _ hint  _ at it. Then, after another day, I realized that I was in over my head and I should just… get over it. So, when you suggested being friends with benefits…” she pauses and her voice shrinks, “that was the only message I ever got from you. You needed comfort, and wanted nothing more.”

“God, Emily,” Alison groans in an even-more frustrated tone, “yes, I wanted comfort, but I only wanted  _ your  _ comfort, and it was never about anything physical. I don’t even know why I suggested this entire thing,” she grits her teeth, more so at herself. “It was such a stupid fucking idea.”

Alison shakes her head before looking at the ceiling with a deep breath falling from her lips, “Look, if you don’t want anything more from this, then okay. I just… need closure. Some kind of closure,” she whispers.

“That’s not it,” Emily’s voice is barely audible now, and she shakes her head while looking away. “That’s not…”

The blonde waits for her to finish her thought, only hearing another confession after fifteen or so more seconds.

Emily continues, “I didn’t think you wanted anything else from this. I didn’t think you…”

“You didn’t think I have feelings for you?” Alison finishes the thought, keeping her tone the same level as the other girl’s.

Brown eyes meet blue in a nervous manner, ending with Emily looking away as she purses her lips.

“Why would you just  _ assume _ , Em? Why not ask me? Why not try and talk to me, for once? You could’ve told me how you felt, or at least asked me if I felt the same. We’ve grown so much, and…” she trails off. “I know you didn't want to be rejected either, but…” her gaze looks conflicted again, especially when she locks eyes with the brunette who stares back at her with a blank expression.

Suddenly, as Emily’s eyes drift downwards and she doesn’t even  _ try  _ to respond, Alison’s demeanor softens. The blonde watches the other girl curiously, tilting her head a fraction as she continues to wait for an answer ━ but nothing ever comes. 

“Em,” she whispers so the other girl will lock eyes with her, but she won’t. 

“Emily,” Alison tries again with a more-stern yet still comforting tone, and the brunette finally lifts her head.

When they make eye contact, Alison sees something within the other girl’s eyes, almost like a reason for Emily’s reluctance to discuss anything and everything. She sees hesitation, for the most part, and a ton more apprehension and caution, but, as they continue to make solid eye contact, Alison believes that she finally understands something that she had somehow missed, and her lips part while she tilts her head at a barely-noticeable angle. 

“Do you love me?” comes the sudden question, falling from Alison’s lips as her blue eyes shimmer slightly.

Yeah, she knew that Emily had feelings for her, and she figured that, maybe, the brunette always would but, given the conversation, Alison is starting to feel as though it’s much deeper ━ for both of them. Honestly, she could have used the word “love” when thinking about Emily and she wouldn’t bat an eyelash at the thought, but admitting the deepness aloud (and hearing it) holds a whole new type of heaviness. Normally, the phrases “Love you” and “Love you too” would fall from their lips with ease, but neither girl ever thought twice about what they meant and  _ how  _ they meant it. It’d just… happen. Additionally, Hanna and the others occasionally toss around the same, four-letter word when speaking about how Emily feels regarding Alison, but the two sitting on the couch have never heard it for themselves ━ not from each other, and not in  _ that way _ , at least. 

The brunette’s eyes begin to water upon being asked the question, and she looks down with a sharp sniffle as she nods forcefully, “Yeah, Ali, I do love you,” she swallows hard before tears stream down her cheeks, “so much.”

Alison watches the other girl start to break down, and she moves closer so she can use her nails to scratch along the brunette’s back and provide any form of comfort. Emily cries hard, afterwards wiping at her eyes as she groans when they start to sting.

“What's wrong, Em? Talk to me, please,” she pleads. “You know I'll listen. I promise.”

“I know you will,” Emily laughs sadly, then forcefully clears her throat.

Alison waits, watching the brunette constantly struggle.

She continues, “I’m afraid, Ali,” a deep breath falls from her lips before she explains, “I'm afraid to fully let myself love you because you could leave at any moment. I don't think I’d be able to handle it. Not this time.” 

“Em,” she breathes out while shaking her head, “I wouldn't leave you. I want to be with you.”

When the other girl doesn’t seem to register anything that Alison’s been saying, the blonde slams her eyes shut before making a confession of her own.

“I love you, Em.”

The brunette looks at her for a fraction of a second, afterwards letting the words sink in before whispering again.

“I'm just afraid…” her lips stay parted as she looks at her hands.

“I'm not manipulating you, Emily,” Alison explains when she can tell that’s what the other girl is thinking. “I wouldn't just say these things and leave the next day. You should know by now that I’m not an open book, and I’m not going to make myself vulnerable just because I feel like it.”

“What if you change your mind?” comes the question as Emily faces Alison again. 

“What if… you get tired of being with me?” she continues. “Ali, I don't want to give myself to you and fall on my ass.”

Alison licks her chapped lips and looks down at Emily's hands, trying to understand the brunette’s point of view even though she can't help but feel a bit upset that the girl thinks she’d just… leave ━ especially after everything they’ve gone through thus far.

“Please…” Alison whispers suddenly, “please trust me. You could get tired of being with me just as easily, but I want to try this. You've had me for so long now. I need you to realize that.”

“What do we do?” Emily looks up again, waiting to lock eyes with Alison who eventually faces the brunette.

“That depends…” she makes shaky eye contact with Emily, “do you want to try to be more?”

“Only if you're sure  _ you  _ want that, Ali.”

Alison takes a chance and shifts closer, her gaze flickering between Emily's lips and eyes.

The brunette begins to get distracted by the proximity, and Alison can tell because her brown eyes struggle to focus as her lower lip slightly twitches. Alison moves even closer, leaning forward a bit, and the distance slims down more and more while Emily barely breathes.

“I don't want to pretend anymore,” Alison whispers. “I want you. All of you.”

Her lips gently press against the corner of Emily's mouth, “Please.”

She backs up just enough for the brunette to turn her head, and the girl follows Alison’s lead as she leans in slightly. Their noses brush against each other while they get closer, almost touching lips with eyes fluttered shut, but, before they can actually kiss, Emily’s phone begins ringing nearby, and the brunette literally wants to toss the device into the fire. Alison breathes out in frustration, remaining in the same exact, waiting position as Emily leans over to grab her cell phone. The blonde presses her tongue to the inside of her cheek as she rolls her eyes at the entire moment being ruined by━

“Hey, Han,” Emily answers the phone while looking at Alison with an apologetic expression.

Alison leans her elbow on the back of the couch, obviously eavesdropping on the phone call as much as she can.

“I’m putting you on speaker,” the brunette says as she hits a button, and Hanna’s voice fills the room not even a second later.

_ “Can you guys like… save me? I’ve never suffered so much,”  _ the girl’s voice is whiny and Alison snorts at it,  _ “and that's saying something.” _

_ “I resent that, Hanna,”  _ Spencer’s voice comes from somewhere in the distance.

_ “You’ll get over it. You and your stupid little tea bags.” _

“Um…” Emily narrows her eyes, “what’s going on over there?”

_ “Spencer keeps trying to make me try an assortment of teas! We’re sitting in the living room a few hours ago and she starts pulling tea bags out of her purse like some magician. You should see it all! She has a different kind for every occasion, I swear to God.” _

_ “And Hanna burnt our dinner!”  _ again, Spencer yells in the background.  _ “Honestly, the hospital had better food than this.” _

_ “You’re lucky Hanna was attempting to make a damn dinner, in the first place,”  _ the accused blonde shouts back to the girl she’s been snowed in with.

_ “So yeah. We’re having cereal now,”  _ she finishes, now speaking to the girls over the phone.

“Sounds like you’re enjoying yourselves,” Emily smirks.

_ “Don’t even start with me, Em,”  _ Hanna warns.  _ “Did your power go out?” _

Alison groans, “Yes, and my backup generator sucks.”

_ “I'm happy to say that Lucas’ loft has a wonderful generator.” _

“Lucky you.”

_ “How are you guys doing? Have you two━” _

_ “Hanna, stop being invasive,”  _ Spencer scolds.

Emily and Alison just look at one another, not knowing how they would answer if Spencer hadn’t interrupted. In the end, the blonde shyly smiles and the girl sitting next to her mimics the expression, ending with Alison taking her hand as they remain on the phone.

_ “Whatever,”  _ Hanna sighs.  _ “I’m going to go eat my cereal. It’s getting cold.” _

Alison rolls her eyes at the joke.

_ “Keep working on things, you two, or I’ll tell the plows to barricade you in.” _

She hangs up without getting a response, leaving Emily and Alison staring at the phone with narrowed eyes. Both girl avoids the other’s occasional glance, feeling far beyond shy for the time being. Whenever Emily looks in Alison’s direction, she smiles and swallows as if there’s a brick in her throat, and the blonde mirrors the expression although she feels ten times lighter than she did an hour ago. Really, if she had her usual confidence, she’d just climb on top of the other girl and connect their lips for the remainder of the night, but, since that trait decided to leave oh-so-conveniently, she clears her throat and forces a bigger smile at Emily who watches her get off of the couch.

“I’m going to find something to make for dinner,” she speaks softly and the brunette nods with an understanding smile, afterwards looking around the room because she has no idea what to do with herself in the meantime. 

Alison walks around in the confines of the kitchen, searching through cabinet after cabinet. While she bites her inner cheek in thought, she wanders into the pantry and looks through the plethora of random food items scattered across the shelves. Nothing substantial, she rolls her eyes, until she finds a box of mac and cheese. Again, she rolls her eyes (this time harder), but she moves back into the kitchen so she can prepare the “meal.”

“How nutritious,” Emily smirks as she walks into the kitchen.

She stands somewhere behind Alison, crossing her arms as she leans back against the countertop. The blonde shakes her head with a small smile while she starts the stove in hopes that the water will begin boiling quickly. Afterwards, she turns around to face the other girl who stares at her with a sheepish smile.

“Thank you,” comes the brunette’s next statement.

Alison tilts her head in question.

“For making me talk about everything, I mean,” she expands on the words.

“I didn’t make you do anything,” the blonde shakes her head, “but I knew that we both needed to. I think you wanted to talk just as much as I did. You just didn’t know how.”

Emily’s smile grows as she looks away, more so because Alison probably knows her more than she knows herself. The blonde understands why the other girl’s lips are curving into a grin and she mimics the expression.

“What were you going to do if I never spoke during this blizzard?” Emily narrows her eyes.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” she shakes her head again. “I didn’t think you were going to.”

“Well,” the brunette breathes out, “I’m glad I did.” 

“Me too,” Alison’s smile returns.

“Are we okay?”

She nods, “We’re okay,” afterwards turning back to the water that begins to boil. 

Alison follows the cooking instructions while silently wondering what her relationship with Emily is at the moment. Technically, they didn’t exactly  _ define  _ what they are, and they didn’t even have the chance to kiss for the first time since everything, but if they’re good, then… in what sense? She sighs while pushing around the noodles that dance throughout the bubbling water. Emily, on the other hand, stands in the same spot until a few seconds later when she huffs and stretches.

“I’m going to go shovel some more.”

“Is that  _ all  _ you’re going to do while you’re here?” Alison smirks, though the brunette can’t see since their backs are facing one another.

“No,” she drawls, “but I want to get it done little by little so I don’t throw my back out.”

“You’re going to use up all of your dry pairs of sweatpants,” the blonde snorts at how many bundles of pants have been tossed into the laundry by Emily who wears a clean pair every time she goes to shovel.

She adds, “All of  _ ours _ , actually.”

“I know,” comes the groan, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not complaining,” Alison turns around enough to side-eye the girl with a soft smirk.

When Emily doesn’t respond, the blonde changes the subject.

“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes, so you better hurry up,” she notifies. “You know I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

The statement takes on a double-meaning and Emily’s mouth opens at the girl’s words but she has no idea how to respond. Technically, it could mean a multitude of things, and, honestly, it causes the wheels in Emily’s mind to start turning. Sure, Alison was talking about dinner, but did she mean something else at the same time?

In the end, Emily leaves the room quickly so she can finish at least one row of shoveling in the driveway (having finished a bit previously). Alison, in the meantime, listens to the door close and she breathes out a laugh at the girl’s eagerness because, once that statement fell from her lips, she could sense the brunette’s curiosity spike ━ followed by that familiar, “what do I say to that?” type of expression she often gains once Alison says something cryptic.

She stirs the pasta again, constantly wishing that she had known about the snowstorm before it came so she’d have more food in the house. Soon, the timer beeps and she shuts the burner off, afterwards finishing with the mac and cheese’s preparation. Once it’s finished, she fills two bowls and sets them on the counter, chuckling when the front door opens and she hears an out-of-breath “I’m here, I’m here” from Emily who tugs her shoveling gear off.

“Took you long enough,” Alison teases as the brunette makes her way into the kitchen.

“Don’t even try that, Ali,” she shakes her head. “You know how good I am at keeping track of time.”

“Mm,” the blonde hums and nods, remembering the various times when the two only had a certain amount of alone time until they had to go about their days ━ and they  _ never  _ departed a second too late or too early.

They take their meals into the living room a minute later, sitting near each other as they eat. As opposed to previous times, they make light yet solid conversation, sharing a few laughs here and there. Time passes quickly as they eat, especially once they’re done and their bowls are placed onto the coffee table in front of them. At one point, between the shy smiles and shaky eye contact, Emily puts on the weather channel so they can see what’s up with the forecast for the rest of the night and tomorrow:

_ “Here you can see a few, heavy clouds rolling over the western part of the state, and we’ll have to keep you updated on those since they could change at any time. Within the next hour or so, you may see a light dusting coming down, but nothing too, um, substantial,”  _ again, the same weatherman stammers over what he’s saying,  _ “and tomorrow is going to display a lot of sun. You may find that the cold temperature will keep most of the snow on the ground, but, again, we’ll keep you updated on traveling bans, power-outages, and so forth.”  _

After pausing, he continues,  _ “Many neighborhoods haven’t been plowed yet, but rest assured… they’re out there,”  _ and laughs at his own words while the two on the couch look at the screen with flat expressions, afterwards turning off the television since it’s getting pretty late and the temperature is beginning to drop again.

Alison rubs at her arms when she feels a bigger chill flow through the air, and Emily turns to see the girl’s frozen body language. She frowns at first, afterwards turning her expression into something of more sympathy. When her eyes lock with blue, she smiles softly and gestures for the girl to come closer, and Alison complies after a second of hesitation. The blonde approaches as she moves across the middle cushion, eventually ending up curled into the other girl’s body while an arm is wrapped around her. Emily feels nervous (similar to Alison), and the fast beating of her heart is gently felt by the girl whose body is tucked into hers ━ but Alison doesn’t say anything. Although Emily wraps a blanket around their bodies, Alison still shakes due to the cold, and the brunette notices that the fire has almost died out completely whereas the room’s heater never exactly helped in the first place.

“Why did it get so cold all of a sudden?” Alison groans as she presses further against the other girl.

“I think the wind picked up,” she explains, though she isn’t completely sure if that’s the reason because, honestly, it got really fucking cold out of nowhere. 

The blonde seems to grow antsy within the next few minutes, periodically shifting her position as she attempts to get comfortable under the lone blanket that covers them. Really, they both want to suggest that Alison  _ does  _ have a bed they could cuddle in, but neither voices the option because, if you asked either one of them, they’d be afraid that it’s too straightforward considering the past day. Suddenly, when Emily feels Alison shift once again, she opens her mouth to  _ finally  _ suggest that they should go upstairs, but, before she can get a word out, the blonde is cutting her off.

“Can we please go upstairs, Em? At least I have a thicker comforter up there,” it comes out as more of a whine, and the brunette chuckles at the tone.

Alison waits for an answer, growing more impatient by the second, and Emily eventually nods with a smile before she’s getting off of the couch and offering the other girl her hand. Alison accepts the gesture, immediately taking Emily’s hand as she’s pulled to her feet. They’re suddenly eye to eye and pretty damn close, but Alison clears her throat, forces a nervous smile, and links her pinky with the brunette’s so they can go upstairs. As they walk, the blonde occasionally looks back at the other girl who, at one time, gets caught with her eyes drifting downward. Alison chuckles when Emily’s cheeks turn a light shade of red, afterwards tugging the girl into her room. She immediately crawls under the comforter so she can get situated. Meanwhile, Emily finds another blanket folded nearby and she spreads it over the comforter, determined to help the other girl warm up as much as possible.

Alison groans as she shivers, earning an eye-roll from Emily who can sense the level of dramatics laced in the noise.

“Jeez, give me a minute,” she smiles while peeling down her side of the comforter, afterwards shifting so she’s not perched on the edge.

Before the brunette can even blink, she’s being clung to, and she giggles at the other girl who lets out a content sigh. Emily kisses the top of Alison’s head as her arm tightens around the girl’s body. Alison, on the other hand, feels her breathing slightly pause when Emily’s lips press against the top of her head, though it’s the most innocent gesture. She licks her lips, suddenly feeling like she should just lean up and kiss the other girl, but her body won’t move. Instead, her shivering comes back, and her eyes slam shut because she knows that skin on skin contact is her best bet on getting warm right now, but that’d be going too far, too soon, right? On the other hand, Emily knows her so well, and she’d understand ━  _ hopefully _ ━ so, after another entire minute of weighing her options, Alison reaches down and lifts her shirt slightly with an uncomfortable whine. Next, she does the same to Emily’s shirt, only earning a confused look from the brunette as her brown eyes flicker downward.

Alison’s eyes drift upward when she realizes that she’s being stared at, immediately offering a sheepish smile matched with an unreadable gaze. 

“I’m sorry,” she rests her head on Emily’s chest again, “I just know that it’ll make me feel better.”

The brunette makes a thinking face, though Alison can’t see, afterwards whispering, “It’s okay. Whatever it takes.”

Alison breathes out a laugh, “Don’t say that.”

Emily bites her lower lip at the statement, offering a small laugh of her own.

Suddenly, Alison is tilting her chin upwards, slightly backing up so she can look at Emily who wears a confused expression as her gaze dances between the blonde’s eyes and lips. Alison has a struggle of her own, soon forcing herself to look away because she wants to say something and just can’t focus when Emily is looking at her with so much admiration yet desperation. She takes a deep breath before looking into those brown eyes again, afterwards rubbing her lips together.

“I really do love you, you know,” she confesses and it’s so quiet that Emily would have missed it if they weren’t practically touching noses.

The brunette’s mouth opens to say something but, instead, her eyes drift away from Alison’s and the girl half-on top of her frowns.

“You know that, right?” the blonde sounds offended.

“How can you be sure, Alison?” Emily sighs sadly. “I don’t mean that in a shitty way, but… what if you just feel comforted by me and nothing more?”

Alison shifts, pushing herself up further so she can look at Emily completely.

“How can  _ you  _ be sure that you love  _ me _ ?” she offers the rebuttal.

“Because I have for a while now,” the words fall so easily from her lips that it surprises herself.

Alison raises an eyebrow, resulting in a stuttering Emily. 

“Well, I━I mean…”

When the brunette’s voice trails off, the other girl rolls her eyes playfully, determined to get back to the topic at hand. 

“How do you know that I haven’t loved  _ you  _ for a while?”

“Are you going to keep answering my questions with your own questions?”

“Until you finally understand that I’ve been in love with you for a while now, yes,” Alison gets out even though she doesn’t even think before the sentence falls from her lips, and her eyes slightly widen as they drift away from Emily’s in fear that she’ll be rejected.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Ali? Before this whole thing, I mean. The ‘friends with benefits’ thing…” her voice trails off as she looks at Alison with wondering eyes. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“I didn’t know, Em,” Alison sighs. “I mean… I knew, but I wasn’t ready to admit that I knew. I didn’t think you wanted a relationship with me, honestly, and the idea kind of just… came out.”

She continues after pausing for a few seconds, “Even if I  _ did  _ tell you, would you have believed me?”

No answer.

“Look, I know I was never the most genuine person in the past━” Alison starts, but she’s cut off.

“No, Ali, don’t go there,” Emily shakes her head.

Alison sighs, “I just want you to know that this isn’t a game anymore.”

Emily cups Alison’s jaw as she shushes the girl softly, her eyes drifting towards Alison’s lips constantly. Alison, similarly, has a hard time focusing on Emily’s eyes, and she finds herself looking at the girl’s lips every now and then. When Emily can’t take the tension anymore, she cranes her neck upwards and kisses Alison gently, barely touching their lips together ━ but definitely enough to feel. She backs up a second after and opens her eyes, silently asking Alison if she can kiss her again. When the blonde brushes her nose against Emily’s, the brunette leans up and kisses her more than before, contently sighing against the girl’s mouth. Alison smiles when she feels Emily’s body completely relax underneath her, and she offers the girl multiple pecks to her bottom lip. They depart again ━ only for a brief moment ━ and really look at one another, afterwards leaning back in and connecting their lips with a deeper kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now that they've finally stopped being stubborn as all hell (for the most part), we can get this relationship moving along. I mean… it's not like they're necessarily together yet, but it'll be much lighter now. Just in time for Christmas Eve.
> 
> They miscommunicate so much and I severely hope it isn't this bad on-screen when 7B happens because, pfft, I'll throw a shoe at someone. Not really, mostly because I love the tension it creates, but at the same time it's so skdjghskfgh (pronounced "exhausting").
> 
> So, basically, at the beginning of this chapter, Emily was like "I dunno what Alison wants!" and everyone who's reading this story was like "LET THE GIRL SPEAK, THEN" with a side of "How could you not know?" That's me, at least. It's like... they both knew that they didn't act like friends with benefits (and that they actually acted like a damn couple), but no one would come out and say it for whatever reason. Emily even admitted that there were countless signs of Alison wanting more, but she pushed her away. It's always a back and forth with these two. I think the concept of "doubt" is the real culprit. Always.
> 
> I think that, when you love someone who may or may not feel the same way (after many, many years)... it gets complicated. Since this is taking place after 7x10 (which is far from when Emily first admitted to loving Alison as more than a friend), it's difficult for Emily to say "Yeah, I love you" because, after everything, rejection would probably be 10x more massive. If you think about it, she's come a long way. She's grown a backbone, she's had a variety of relationships, and she's become stronger, overall. If she admits to loving Alison so easily (without Alison actually asking "Do you love me?"), it's like… she thinks that she's giving up the strength she's gained; she'd be back at square one, roughly. They're both pretty interesting once you dive into their internal battles.
> 
> I'm sorry (not really), but… that lengthy flashback makes me laugh every time. Maybe it's just me, I don't know, but I find it funny. Also, my favorite line ever is "You'll get over it. You and your stupid little tea bags" because it's probably one of the most random "insults" I've ever written.
> 
> Anyway. I'm glad you came back for the second chapter of this, and I hope to see you for the third and fourth.
> 
> Good day, my friends.


	3. Christmas Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye! It’s almost Christmas (and every other holiday, I've lost track)!
> 
> It’s pretty early on in the day (considering my normal posting times), and that’s because I’m going to be out and about for most of the day (up until midnight-ish). Either way, here’s today’s update and I hope ya’ll enjoy the rest of your day. 
> 
> Go ahead and read.

A sharp chill shoots through Alison’s body, so she snuggles further into the covers as much as she can. Her jaw clenches together as her grasp tightens, clawing at the blankets that cover her body. Although she’s practically already awake due to the temperature, her eyes remain shut as she breathes out a shaky breath, attempting to fall back to sleep but failing. As she flops onto her back with a loud groan, she remembers that Emily had slept with her, however the brunette is nowhere to be found. Her eyes fly open and she frowns heavily, more so because she looks at the other side of the bed to see that the covers are still messed up which means that she hadn’t been dreaming ━ also meaning that Emily had, in fact, left her alone in bed. Soon, however, Alison smiles when thinking about the night before, rubbing her hands together as she tries to keep herself warm while sitting up in bed. She adjusts her shirt by tugging it down, and she can’t help but smile bigger when she remembers what transpired before they fell asleep ━ though it was _very_ difficult.

_Emily’s hands drag along Alison’s soft skin, being just underneath the girl’s pajama shirt. Most of the fabric is shoved upwards, resting just above the blonde’s breasts due to the same girl being anxious to revel in more skin-on-skin feeling with Emily who lies beneath her in similar, messed-up attire. The brunette’s hands shake slightly as her fingertips glide up and down Alison’s sides, and the girl pressed against her lets out a soft, muffled whimper as they kiss._

_For the past hour, the kisses have grown gradually more heated and deeper, and each girl can physically sense the new, passionate vibe. Occasionally, Alison rolls her hips until she realizes what she’s doing, then she forces herself to stop because, well, maybe it’s too soon. Emily, similarly, absentmindedly allows her hands to roam down the blonde’s back until they end up halfway into Alison’s pajama pants, only to drag her nails upwards once she realizes what she’s done. Every now and then, a soft noise escapes from either girl’s throat, only to be swallowed by the lip-lock they’ve been involved in for a while now. Their skin sticks together slightly due to the heightened temperature, though the night is becoming much colder than prior to getting in bed, and they can practically feel heat radiating off of one another whenever Alison unintentionally grinds down on the girl beneath her._

_The blonde backs up suddenly, almost completely out of breath as she looks at Emily who, likewise, tries to breathe as much as she can with a fast-beating heart inside her chest. Alison lets out a shaky laugh and a smile before leaning down, kissing the brunette on the lips once more, and backing up again._

_“We should probably go to sleep,” she suggests even though her voice sounds regretful._

_“We should,” Emily nods after blinking a few times._

_Alison doesn’t move, and Emily looks at her for a couple more seconds before craning her neck upwards and capturing the blonde’s lips like previously, kissing her with a tinge of determination. A moan slips past Alison’s lips at the sudden action, and she cups the brunette’s jaw before pressing her against the pillow again._

_“Mm,” Emily hums, afterwards backing up to see Alison’s eyes flickering open, “okay, time to go to sleep.”_

_Alison chuckles at the underlying frustration and impatience, but she partially rolls off of Emily so she can cuddle into her side. Once she feels comfortable enough, she leans up and kisses the other girl on the cheek with a soft “Goodnight.” In turn, Emily kisses the blonde’s head with her own “Goodnight,” and they (after a while of cooling off) eventually fall asleep._

Alison blushes once she remembers how difficult it was to fall asleep after they had gotten so heated. Honestly, she’s surprised that she was able to sleep _at all_ , but the day likely drained her, so it makes sense.

She moves her legs to the side of the bed and stands, followed by a few seconds of stretching before she _really_ feels the temperature, resulting in a huge shiver. In response, she finds her spare robe nearby and pulls it around her body, making sure to hold it against her as she walks through the hallway and, soon, down the stairs. As Alison moves around, she wonders where Emily is, especially when she doesn’t see the brunette in the living room or kitchen. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, mostly because the entire downstairs seems super dark and frigid despite the “sunny” forecast, but she shakes her head and walks into the kitchen anyways. Her feet move along the cold floor, and she grimaces as she scolds herself for not grabbing a pair of socks before going downstairs.

Before she can make herself some tea, the front door swings open with a large gust of wind, and Emily groans as she pushes it shut behind her. Alison hears the scuffle, laughing softly at the frustrated noises, and, afterwards, the brunette comes into sight as she walks into the kitchen while rubbing her hands together.

“What are you doing up?” Emily’s expression is unreadable and Alison arches an eyebrow.

“Good morning to you too,” the blonde speaks in a challenging tone, earning a playful eye-roll from the girl who approaches.

Emily leans in for a kiss once she’s close enough, feeling much more timid to ask now that they’ve actually confessed that they love each other. To her surprise, Alison complies without a trace of hesitation, and the blonde hums into the short peck. Emily partially backs up afterwards, smiling with a shy look cascaded over her face, and Alison leans in again. This time, the brunette backs up fully once the short kiss is over, just staring at the other girl who looks at her with a smile of her own.

“What are _you_ doing up?” Alison deflects the previous question. “I was freezing up there. _Alone_.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily sighs. “I really wanted to get the driveway shoveled so it’d finally be over with.”

“And did you?”

“Yes,” the brunette speaks before her eyes widen, “but, of course, when I finally _finish_ the damn driveway, the plows come and barricade what I’ve shoveled. It’s like… five feet high now. You should see my car… well, what you _can_ see.”

She groans while Alison tries to stifle her laughter but, in the end, she can’t. Emily groans louder at the other girl’s laughter, earning a forced pout from the blonde who looks at her in a teasing manner.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she continues to pout and the other girl doesn't seem stunned by the term of endearment.

“It took me like… thirty minutes to finish the last section,” the brunette crosses her arms.

“You left me upstairs for thirty minutes?” Alison’s eyes widen, though her mouth curves into an amused smile.

“It’s not like I wanted to,” she mumbles.

“Looks like you’re stuck here for a bit longer, anyway,” her eyes drift downwards, almost as if she’s checking Emily out, though it was completely unintentional ━ well, for the most part.

They smile at one another, and the air feels much lighter than it had during their first day of being “stuck” together. Alison can even see Emily blushing a bit at the comment and gesture, but she doesn’t mention it, and, instead, decides to backtrack just so she can see where they currently stand.

“No, I don’t know,” Alison breathes out a large sigh as she turns away from Emily who frowns in a confused manner, “I’m sure most of it will melt by tomorrow afternoon. At least enough to drive safely once you get your car out. You’ll be free after that.”

Emily doesn’t comment. Actually, although Alison can’t see, the brunette looks at the floor after the words fall from the girl’s lips, causing her to appear extremely bummed by the entire idea of leaving. Sure, Emily knows what Alison is trying to do, and she internally rolls her eyes because the blonde has used this indirect tactic time and time again instead of just voicing her concerns, but, on the other hand, it’s a valid thing to wonder: does Emily still want to leave? The past few days (until last night) were far beyond shitty, but maybe their _I love you_ ’s made up for at least _part_ of the crappy hours ━ not to mention those multiple, extensive kisses throughout the course of last night. Either way, suddenly, Emily knows that she doesn’t want to leave at all, and maybe she never had in the first place. Possibly, she had been _wishing_ that she’d want to leave, and maybe she would have, eventually, had to force herself to walk through that door if they didn't talk things out, but they did, and now she almost flat-out refuses to leave. On the other hand, what if Alison wants her to leave? What if there’s this underlying, sick feeling that Emily won’t give her space?

Suddenly, the brunette is rubbing at her eyes, and she doesn’t even realize that Alison had, at some point, turned around to face her once again. The blonde looks at her with concerned, blue eyes, and she approaches slowly, ending with soft hands stroking Emily’s cheeks as Alison leans forward and connects their lips in a barely-touching type of kiss. Their eyes flutter shut at the tiny bit of contact, but Alison backs up a second later with a shy yet partially devious smirk.

“Do you want some breakfast? We have more breakfast foods than dinner foods, I promise,” she chuckles.

“Then why haven’t we just had breakfast for dinner?” Emily challenges with a smirk of her own, earning a look from Alison as if she’s been insulted.

When Emily flashes an innocent smile, Alison tries to keep a stone-like expression cascaded on her face but fails, ending with a small smile of her own as she takes a deep breath and looks away.

“You don’t have to make us breakfast, Ali, it’s fine,” the brunette speaks again. “You look super cold. Just… relax with me.”

“Okay, but I need to eat something before I end up puking,” she shakes her head and walks towards the pantry.

“Cute,” Emily chuckles.

“I don’t care about being cute in the morning, Em. You should know that by now.”

Sure, it’s a teasing comment, but the brunette smiles at the statement because she’s come to love every aspect of their relationship, even if it’s just starting to be labeled a “relationship” ━ or has it started at all? Who knows, Emily thinks as she shakes her head, but maybe they’ll define it later. She definitely _wants_ to discuss it now that they’ve confessed to a few things, but━

“Why are you staring at me?” Alison narrows her eyes as she takes another bite of cereal.

“Hm? Oh, sorry,” Emily clears her throat and looks away, earning a brief, knowing smile from Alison, “just thinking.”

“About?” her smile grows and Emily rolls her eyes with a grin of her own, afterwards walking into the living room without answering the question.

The brunette walks over to the windows as she peers through the frosted glass, looking at the snow-covered front lawn. The streets are now visible, albeit covered in a brown and grey slush, and the lawn ends with what looks to be a giant ramp due to the mounted snow. Additionally, the mailbox can barely be seen and Emily rolls her eyes at the plows. Sunlight hits the snow heavily, causing a bright sparkle to gravitate across the subtle dips in the packed, white powder, and, if it wasn’t for the cold temperature and snow accumulation, it’d be perfect outside. Emily breathes out a sigh because of her lack of excitement towards the winter season and, surprisingly, Christmas itself. She’s not sure if it’s because it doesn’t exactly feel like Christmas Eve at all, or if it’s because of the last few days feeling warped, but she isn’t enjoying the overall holiday concept and it’s bumming her out.

As she continues to stare through the windows with an expressionless face, a pair of arms wrap around her torso as a body is pressed against her backside. Her tiny frown turns upwards as she tries to look back, but Alison snuggles against her shirt, and Emily notes that the girl isn’t wearing her robe anymore. She turns around once the blonde’s grip loosens, eventually wrapping Alison in a warm hug.

“I told you that you look cold, Ali,” she gently scolds.

“I know, but the robe was annoying me and I figured you’re warmer,” comes the quiet confession as Alison partially buries her face in Emily’s neck.

The small embrace tightens a fraction, ending with Alison making a curt humming sound.

“Mm, so,” the blonde backs up, “I have a small request.”

“Anything.”

Alison raises her eyebrows at the eager tone and Emily laughs at the expression.

“I was hoping that you’d help me decorate the tree since tomorrow is Christmas,” her smile looks childish, almost as if she’s afraid that the suggestion sounds stupid or, possibly, annoying.

Emily smiles big in response, simultaneously growing nervous when she feels a fresh batch of butterflies flutter in her stomach. When Alison matches the smile, the brunette nods with an unwavering “Of course,” and a kiss is pressed to her lips a second after.

“Let me get a new fire going, first,” Emily leans back in, granting Alison another short kiss.

“Deal,” she whispers, afterwards walking away so she can find the multiple boxes of ornaments and decorations.

She leaves the room as Emily crouches down near the fireplace, determined to quickly conjure up a new fire. She clears out most of the ashes from the old fire, using a brush and iron shovel to get them out of the space. Next, her hands reach for a few logs and kindling, and she assembles a small pile within the walls so she can spark the fire a minute later. Once a few flames appear, she watches to make sure that it doesn’t die within seconds of starting, but, as it grows, she backs up with a solid head nod. The fireplace protector is shifted back into its former position, and she turns around to see Alison watching her with an impressed grin plastered across her face.

“I’m lucky I have you here,” she shakes her head, not bothering to deny the fact that she’d likely freeze to death if Emily hadn’t been with her during this snowstorm. “Who knows where I’d be right now.”

Emily frowns and looks down at her hands, afterwards facing Alison with pleading eyes.

“You’d be snuggled up in bed, Ali. You’d be warm and _safe_ ,” she shakes her head. “Please don’t think otherwise.”

Alison nods as much as she can and, to slightly change the subject, she extends her hand while gesturing for Emily to approach. The brunette complies after a brief period of hesitation, walking up to Alison who hugs her again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t. I just don’t like thinking about you being anything other than safe, Ali.”

She nods.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m currently feeling warm, safe, and _happy_ ,” Alison lets out a small laugh as she backs up so she can look at Emily who matches her with a growing smile.

“Me too.”

“That’s because I’m a delight,” Alison speaks with a sweet tone, but her eyes dare Emily to disagree.

“Mhm,” she offers a short, unreadable hum, “anyways,” and she’s walking over to her phone a second after.

The other girl watches her with a pout, but the expression morphs into that of amusement and teasing once she hears Christmas music come through the brunette’s phone speaker. Emily faces her with a cheesy smile, walking back towards Alison who shakes her head with a laugh.

“You’re so cliché,” she turns away with a deep breath, facing the tree as Emily walks up beside her and stares at the blank-looking decoration in front of them, though it’s now lit with its clear bulbs, causing the branches to look even emptier than previously.

“Jeez, Ali, your tree looks so _empty_ ,” Emily whines at the sight now that she’s really paying attention to it, and Alison chuckles at the tone because the brunette really loves Christmas and everything that comes with it.

“I can put your present under the tree, if that’ll help,” Alison raises her eyebrows.

When Emily looks at her with parted lips and a conflicted expression, the blonde chuckles and begins to prop ornaments onto the empty branches. Emily stares at her with the same face, eventually getting a couple of words out before she’s cut off.

“Ali, no━”

“You can’t _not_ accept it, Em. It’s already wrapped.”

She sighs while picking up a few ornaments to hang, “Okay, but I won’t accept it until I give you yours.”

“What do you mean? I thought _you_ were my present.”

Emily blushes but ignores the second part of Alison’s comment, instead only answering the question as she intricately places various ornaments along the tree. Alison does the same, occasionally side-eying Emily.

“I mean that I didn’t plan on this spur-the-moment snow-cation, so your present is at home,” Emily speaks matter-of-factly.

“Well, like I said…” Alison abruptly turns and approaches Emily, “I figured you’re my present, and I’m far beyond satisfied with that.”

“We’ll see,” comes the shrug as the brunette continues to play around with the decorations.

“Emily Fields, are you trying to play hard to get?” she raises an eyebrow while looking amused.

When the other girl is out of ornaments and the rest are beyond her reach, she turns to Alison who stares at her with a smirk.

“What if I really am your present?” Emily wonders after biting her bottom lip.

“I just told you…” Alison squints her eyes with a smile, “I’d be beyond satisfied.”

“A relationship, I mean,” the brunette expands on the indirect suggestion.

At first, the other girl doesn’t react. In fact, Emily actually begins to panic once the blonde doesn’t look as if she’s registered the idea, and she wants to look away but, for whatever reason, her eyes won’t comply, and she’s stuck waiting for the inevitable rejection. To her surprise, Alison’s face lights up with a smile soon after, and Emily swears that she can even see the girl’s blue eyes water for a split second, but, before she can get another word out, the blonde nods with a small “I’d love that.” She continues to smile at Emily who mirrors the expression, but, when a more cliché idea comes to mind, the brunette turns away from Alison whose face falls into a frown.

“But, you know, we’re just talking about what your present _could_ be. Not what it really is,” she shrugs with a laugh once she’s nearly knocked over.

“You’re a real ass, you know that?” Alison matches the laugh, but she stops attacking the other girl and, soon, wears a forced pout.

Emily looks at her with a big smile, trying to get Alison to mirror it. She’s reluctant, however, and her pout is kissed away a few seconds later. At first, she doesn’t kiss back, and her face holds the same, upset expression, but she soon melts into the various pecks. Emily smiles against her mouth, but the grin is erased by Alison who deepens the kiss when her hands grasp at the brunette’s shirt, pulling her closer. For a brief moment, Alison pulls back in order to smile, but, right as she’s about to lean in again, Emily’s phone begins to ring nearby and the blonde groans, “If that’s Hanna, I’m going to kill her.”

Emily moves over to the phone and chuckles, “Relax, it’s my mom,” and she walks away with an eye-roll as she takes the call.

The brunette walks into the other room in order to talk to her mother, not that she really cares if Alison listens or not ━ it’s just a natural reaction whenever someone calls her.

“Hello?”

_“How are you girls doing?”_

“We’re good,” Emily nods, more so to herself.

 _“I’m glad,”_ for a moment, she wonders if her mother could sense some bad blood between her and Alison but, in the end, she shrugs it off.

“How are you? It must be lonely there. I’m sorry,” Emily breathes out a sigh.

 _“Not lonely, no,”_ her tone seems cheery considering she’s been stuck at home for days with no one to talk to, _“I’ve been doing things around the house, and I actually started painting.”_

“Bored, I see,” Emily chuckles. “Do you even know how to paint?”

_“Ha-ha, you’re so funny. Painting is natural, Emily. I’ve just… never been very good at it.”_

The brunette snickers at the statement but, as she walks around, her mind begins to focus on Alison, and she bites at her lower lip because tomorrow is Christmas and she really wants to spend it with the blonde girl, but that means she’d have to break her family’s yearly tradition. Actually, she had been thinking about at least _visiting_ Alison on Christmas Day for a while now, but she never felt gutsy enough to voice the idea because, well, until recently, she wasn't aware of the other girl’s deep feelings. Now… things are much clearer, and maybe even more simple.

“Um, hey,” she starts, “will you be okay if I spend Christmas here? I know we have a tradition, but━”

_“Emily, all I want is for you to be happy, and I know Alison makes you happy. You two deserve to have a nice Christmas, even if the weather hasn’t been ideal.”_

She breathes out a laugh, mostly because the weather is the entire reason why they’ve been forced to talk things out.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

 _“Yes, sweetie. In fact, it's probably better this way. I still need to get some things for dinner. We can alter our tradition a little and make it for the day after Christmas this year, if that works,”_ she speaks with a comforting tone, _“and I’d love it if you brought Alison.”_

“Really?”

_“Of course. Why not?”_

“Well, I━I didn’t know━”

 _“I don’t know the extent of your relationship, Emily, but she’s always been there for you, so I’d love if she spent the day with us no matter what,”_ her voice is sweet. _“I know I’m not always the most in-tune with your relationships or feelings, but I’m your mother and I can sense things, you know.”_

“I’ll talk to her about it,” Emily settles on saying.

_“Okay. Now, have a nice time today and tomorrow. I won’t bother you for a few days.”_

She laughs again, “Okay. Enjoy your painting,” she teases.

_“Love you.”_

“Love you too.”

Emily hangs up and takes a deep breath. She stands there for a moment, just thinking about the entire conversation and how her mother has always seemed to hint at things whenever Alison was mentioned. Truly, she really _can_ sense things, and the brunette’s mouth curves into a small smile as she rolls her eyes at her mother’s completely-knowing tone.

As she stands there, she wonders if she should just come out and confess tomorrow’s plans right now, but, in the end, Emily decides to save it for a surprise; if Alison wants to dance around that “issue,” then so will she ━ but not in a bad way; if the blonde asks, she’ll say something, but otherwise, she’ll keep the information to herself.

With another deep breath, Emily walks back towards the living room where she left Alison. As she approaches the room, she sees the blonde leaning against the open doorway with a vacant expression strewn across her face. Emily tilts her head, more so because the other girl looks as though she’s either lost in thought or terrified of something, and her steps get faster as she ends up face to face with Alison who seems to snap out of whatever trance.

“Hey,” the brunette’s voice sounds concerned and she looks at the other girl with those wide, wondering eyes, “are you okay?”

Suddenly, when Alison locks eyes with her, the blonde’s lips begin curving into a small smirk, and Emily’s expression grows conflicted. When the brunette shakes her head with extreme confusion, Alison lets out a small laugh and bows her head with a shy smile replacing her devious smirk, afterwards taking a step closer to Emily who continues to wonder what’s going on in the other girl’s head.

“Relax,” Alison finally speaks and Emily looks away.

In order to regain the brunette’s attention, Alison gently grasps the girl’s chin and tilts it upwards so she looks at the doorway above them. Emily stares at the mistletoe hung above their bodies, feeling herself starting to smile as her cheeks warm up. She looks back at Alison who stares at her with expectant eyes, but she doesn’t move an inch. In fact, she stands still while barely breathing, and Alison just moves a fraction of a step forward with every passing second. Emily continues to hesitate for a long period of time, and that’s when Alison decides to take matters into her own hands even more so. Her lips brush against the brunette’s with the lightest pressure, almost enough to make the girl touch her own mouth as if she’s imagining it. Meanwhile, Alison’s hands glide up Emily’s shoulders, eventually rubbing her thumbs against the girl’s neck before she cups her jaw. She tilts her head to the side, slightly nudging her nose against Emily’s, but she doesn’t press their lips together. Instead, the blonde decides to whisper in hopes that she’ll break the other girl in the best of ways.

“Come on, Em,” a soft smile covers her features as her eyes flicker open for a split second, “where’d your holiday spirit go?”

Emily tries to laugh at the joke, she really does, but, instead, she only gets out a small smile before she finds herself leaning forward and connecting their lips with a type of desperation that she hasn’t felt in a long time. Sure, last night felt just as refreshing ━ in a “relationship” type of sense ━ but this is… _hungry,_ yet full of passion. In fact, the brunette allows herself to revel in the feeling of Alison’s mouth on her own, and, within seconds, the blonde is trapped between the wall and the other girl’s body with a thigh ending up between her legs. Alison’s nails scrape at the back of Emily’s neck, especially when the girl’s thigh is pressing against her core and shifting every now and then. A moan is swallowed by Emily’s mouth, and she allows her hands to grasp at Alison’s sides with determination. Occasionally, the two break apart, and they take a good look at one another before going back in for a deeper kiss as their hands mutually roam. The room’s atmosphere thickens and heats up with the help of the nearby fire’s warmth, and the current situation draws a variety of noises from each girl as every electrified sensation begins to catch up to them.

With one last peck to the blonde’s lips, Emily backs up with a cheeky, partly stunned grin, attempting to get some distance between them or else who knows what will happen within the confines of the same doorway they’ve been standing in for at least fifteen minutes now. Alison seems out of breath, and her eyes don’t completely open for another ten seconds, only to focus on Emily who watches her with loving (yet lustful) eyes.

Emily extends her hand so Alison will take it, flashing a bigger smile, “Let’s finish decorating the tree.”

Alison sighs but takes the girl’s hand, especially when a scolding look is shot her way.

“What was that about holiday spirit?” Emily raises an eyebrow, smirking when Alison rolls her eyes.

“Fine, but we’re relaxing after this,” her eyes roam the brunette’s body, but she blinks hard and looks away quickly.

Emily smiles with accusing eyes, “You’re the one who suggested this.”

“I wanted to make you happy,” Alison shrugs.

“Well, I am happy,” Emily confirms as she hangs another ornament on the tree.

“Does that mean we can stop?” the blonde teases.

Emily laughs, “No. Your tree looked so sad before.”

“Em, it’s a tree. It can’t feel emotions.”

“Yes, it can.”

“And, actually, it’s a fake tree.”

“You know,” Emily’s arms go limp by her sides as she faces Alison who continues decorating, “this would go a lot quicker if you’d stop debating everything I say.”

“Get used to it,” she tosses back.

Instead of responding, another smile grows on the brunette’s face, and she goes back to decorating as the other girl studies her slightly nervous body language. They decorate in silence (for the most part), but, as opposed to the other days, it’s a comfortable silence, and they each steal glances at one another every few minutes. As the fire cracks nearby, the two enjoy the couple-like activity, and they even bicker over which ornament should go where. In the end, Emily wins, but that’s because she claims she’s more Christmas-oriented than Alison is, to which the blonde agrees (as much as she can), and the brunette rearranges whatever seems out of place. Again, Alison watches her with admiration as she stands back, and she smiles before looking away ━ just in case Emily decided to turn around and catch her. At the same time, they both feel butterflies in their stomachs ━ in addition to the remnants of the adrenaline from their previous make out session ━ and nerves start to swirl more than before.

 

X X X

 

_“That’s not why, I promise,” the words spill from her lips so casually, almost as if she had been reciting them for minutes beforehand._

_The problem, however, is that she hasn’t been reciting anything, nor did she think she’d be in this situation right now. On the other hand, Alison would be lying if she said that she didn’t mean it; truly, she doesn’t want to kiss Emily solely because she feels vulnerable, but because she finally wants to be unguarded enough to have something genuine with the brunette. Obviously, they haven’t exactly spoken about their feelings for… how long? Months? Years? She’s lost track, and she sighs into the kiss they’re currently locked in._

_Emily smiles against her mouth, cupping Alison’s cheek as gently as possible because she feels as though the blonde could shatter at any given moment. Alison, meanwhile, senses something inside of her just… falling ━ but in a good way, or even the greatest way. She feels warm, and as she pushes forward a fraction more, she allows herself to feel more than she has in so long. Sure, past relationships had taken place, and Alison had given her all within each and every one, but they never lived up to her expectations which is, roughly, the reason why most failed. Often, she wishes that she had given Emily a real chance, more so because she knows that the brunette would have made the most of it ━ and maybe she someday will._

_But what if she’s getting things mixed up? What if she just wants this in the current moment, and not something in the future? Doubts begin to swirl in Alison’s mind, almost like she’s shoving her feelings into a deep, dark box in the back of her heart as her body pushes forward again, landing on top of Emily._

_Suddenly, she’s undressed, remaining on top of the brunette who smiles up at her while biting her lower lip. Alison feels warm exhales hitting the skin of her neck, and she whimpers at the feeling as her eyes slam shut. Her hands reach for the arm of the couch so she can hold herself up, but it’s now one of her pillows and they’re both underneath a thin sheet on her bed. As she tries to look around, Emily pulls her down by the back of her neck and connects their lips again, meanwhile Alison’s legs begin to tingle as if fingertips are dragging up and down her thighs, and she moans into the brunette’s mouth but can’t hear a thing. In response, the girl beneath her tugs on her lower lip, whispering something such as “I want you so bad,” but Alison can’t make it out fully and her eyes won’t open because her body just feels way too good. Her heart speeds up more than before, and the breathing on her neck feels hotter as her body begins to twitch._

Her eyes flicker open to find the same brunette curled up to her as they rest on the couch. Emily’s face is almost completely pressed against her neck, and, seemingly, she’s still asleep as Alison tilts her head back against the arm of the couch and tries not to groan too loudly. She rubs at her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, partially laughing at the entire situation because Emily’s leg is hooked between hers as a thin blanket is draped over them while some cheesy Christmas movie plays on the TV nearby. The fire is completely dead now, and the room smells like the remnants of wood-infused smoke as the lights are dimmed with the curtains tugged closed.

Around seven o’clock, sometime after “breakfast for dinner” and a phone call with Hanna, the two had cuddled up on the couch to watch whatever was playing on the TV at the time. A few Christmas movies were showing, so they ultimately chose _The Grinch_ since they’ve seen _Elf_ way too many times. Clearly, once Emily curled up against Alison ━ as per the blonde’s request to have the other girl in her arms for a change ━ they knocked out within the first thirty minutes which lead Alison to have a memory-induced dream (and, afterwards, a much steamier one).

Emily breathes out again, and it almost sounds like a slight whimper as Alison chews on her bottom lip. Her arm feels numb due to their positioning, but she doesn’t dare move because, at the moment, she has no idea how she’d face the brunette while feeling as though she wants to pounce on the girl. So, instead, she just lies there as she stares at the ceiling. Really, she doesn’t even know what time it is, but, judging by the way the air seems as though it’s already below freezing, she guesses that it’s pretty late ━ if not _completely_ in the middle of the night.

The brunette’s leg shifts upwards and Alison almost wonders if the girl is really awake while trying to test how much she can handle, and that theory seems to grow when Emily nuzzles further into her neck a second later as her hand twitches somewhere along the blonde’s waist. Suddenly, Alison can feel eyelashes tickling her neck and she laughs slightly, waiting for Emily to lift her head because, apparently, she really is awake. She doesn’t say anything when the brunette doesn’t move, however, and she remains in the same position without moving her arm from beneath the girl’s body.

After another minute of waiting, Alison feels gentle kisses being pressed along the length of her neck, and she tilts her head to the side while looking like she’s in pain because, really, she _is_ since she wants so much more. At first, when the pecks turn into small bites and open-mouthed kisses, she wonders if she had fallen back into the dream-world at some point, but everything feels all too real, and she can hear her nails scratch the couch’s fabric whenever her skin is nipped at. Alison breathes out heavily, trying to keep her lips sealed shut as her eyes close while she enjoys the feeling. Emily’s hand wanders upwards, keeping a firm handle on the other side of Alison’s neck as her lips dot kisses around the side she’s been working on and, soon after, the girl’s throat. The blonde swallows hard and the girl now-on top of her can feel it, so she takes it as a green-light to continue working her mouth across Alison’s skin with underlying determination. She plants a variety of kisses along the area, sometimes quickly and, other times, slowly.

For the first time since waking up, she leans back to catch a glimpse at Alison’s expression, and the girl’s blue eyes are fluttered shut while her lips are forcefully sealed. Emily breathes out a small laugh, afterwards using her thumb to trace the girl’s mouth so she relaxes a bit more. It works, and Alison lets out a shaky breath as her eyes open to see Emily’s focus filled with heavy tension while their lips are only inches apart. The blonde’s gaze dances between the girl’s mouth and line of sight, causing her to lean upwards and connect their lips with a gentle kiss. Emily hums against Alison’s mouth, afterwards backing up and pressing a single finger to the blonde’s lips as she shifts so she can get off the couch. Meanwhile, Alison watches her with narrowed eyes, almost in an offended manner because, really, what the hell?

A hand is extended in Alison’s direction once Emily watches the girl’s expression morph into confusion. The blonde hastily takes the offer, standing up to come face to face with the girl who just stares at her with a now-shy smile.

“Bed time,” she finally whispers, and Alison almost panics because she has no idea what the girl means considering━

Her hand is being tugged across the room not even a second later, and her eyes dart around the space because she still has no idea what’s happening right now, but, as Emily looks back and her eyes briefly flicker downwards, Alison bites her bottom lip when she can almost feel the heat radiating off of the girl in front of her. They ascend the stairs in a slow manner, but Alison isn’t sure if it just feels like they’re in slow motion because of the current situation, so she blinks a few times and continues to move behind Emily who holds her hand with a firm grip. After what feels like minutes, they hit the landing, and Alison hesitates as she pulls her hand back.

“Get comfy,” she sounds as confident as she can but, inside, she’s shaking. “I’ll be right there.”

Emily appears taken aback, signifying that she’s lost some of the confidence that she, for some reason, gained while she was asleep, but the brunette recovers quickly while nodding with wandering eyes that drift downwards again. They depart a second later with Emily making her way into Alison’s bedroom while the blonde walks into the bathroom.

Alison rolls her eyes when she clicks the door behind her since she's practically hiding from the other girl. Really, she wonders when or why she’s gotten so nervous, especially because the brunette could have meant “bed time” as in… time to sleep. Alison wrings her hands as she leans her head against the door, breathing in and out a few times as she mentally prepares herself for the night ahead because, either way, her sexual frustration has skyrocketed within the past twenty-four hours, and, honestly, she has no idea how she’s survived for this long. Again, the blonde pinches the bridge of her nose and looks around the room, breathing out a quiet “Okay” as she searches for the spare robe that she had tossed into the bathroom hours prior. If she’s going to gain some sort of confidence, she’s going to have to force it to come out.

So, without wasting any more time, Alison begins to undress. At first, she still feels nervous and her hands slightly shake, even more so once the cold air hits her skin, but she eventually settles into the fabric of her spare, thin robe, and she forces a confident feeling as she looks in the mirror. Suddenly, something sparks within her and she opens the door with a soft smirk, slowly walking through the hallway before she appears in her bedroom doorway to see Emily sitting on the edge of her side of the bed while playing with her hands. The blonde wants to roll her eyes at the sight, mostly because Emily’s confidence has apparently toppled over as her own has reignited, but she clears her throat loud enough so the brunette’s eyes meet hers ━ and they do… _briefly_.

It doesn’t take long for the girl’s brown eyes to roam the blonde’s body, only to drag back up to meet Alison’s gaze as the girl remains standing in the doorway. Emily’s lips part when she realizes that she’s been staring for a little too long, especially judging by the way the blonde now smirks as she approaches the girl who sits on the edge of the mattress.

“I told you to get comfortable,” Alison stands almost in-between the girl’s legs, coming to a standstill just inches away from her slightly parted knees.

“Maybe I am comfortable,” Emily tilts her head as she looks at the blonde who struggles to stay focused.

“I meant… lie down,” her hands cup the brunette’s cheeks, using her thumbs to stroke the girl’s skin as she leans down slowly.

Once they’re nose against nose, Emily lets out a nervous laugh, though it sounds more like a shaky exhale, and she feels like she's suffocating while trying to play along as much as she can.

“Make me,” she gets out and it takes Alison by surprise, causing a soft moan to fall from the girl’s throat as she connects their lips hungrily.

The air thickens instantly, and it makes the room feel ten times warmer than it has in days. Really, they wonder why they hadn’t attempted to create their own heat a day or two ago (disregarding the arguments and bad blood), especially when Alison helps Emily lift her shirt over her head, afterwards climbing on top of the brunette once she pushes her back against the mattress. As her back hits the sheets, Emily flips them over on contact, managing to move their bodies up towards the pillows as Alison’s head now rests against the soft fabric. Somewhere during their heated make out session, the blonde’s robe comes off with ease, followed by her hands reaching down to grab the covers without breaking their ever-deepening lip-lock.

The comforter covers most of Emily’s back, lying just above the waistline of her pajama pants as her thigh rubs against Alison’s core while they kiss. Soft moans fall from the blonde’s lips at a rapid rate, also resulting from the other girl’s wandering hands that, soon, gently squeeze her chest with soft scratches being drawn along her skin. Emily gets her bottom lip snagged a moment later and she whimpers at the feeling, especially when Alison’s hands begin to shove her pajama pants down her legs, helping the girl who hovers above her body to get undressed as fast as possible. Her bra is next to go, and, before she can blink, her panties are shoved down her legs as well, leaving them both completely skin on skin as the blonde’s tongue slides past the other girl’s, trying to keep the pace solid as sweat forms along their bodies.

Alison flips them over soon after, smiling when she hears Emily grunt at the sudden motion. She laughs slightly before kissing the brunette’s lips once more, flashing a shy smile afterwards at the girl who stares at her with complete admiration. Usually, a large amount of lust swirls in their gazes as they make eye contact during sex, but this time feels different; this time, they know everything is real, and that it’s… _more_ ━ so much more.

“What are you thinking about?” Emily whispers to the girl above her through deep breaths, though her eyes can’t exactly focus on anything other than Alison’s lips.

“How happy I am with you,” she brushes a few hairs away from the brunette’s eyes, smiling softly. “Not just right now, but every day. Wherever we are.”

Emily grins, finally locking eyes with Alison who studies the girl beneath her with a now-shy smile, “Tell me about it.”

At first, the blonde seems stuck on the request, almost like she can’t come up with words that will be able to sum up what she feels ━ and maybe she really _can’t_ ━ but she leans to the side a bit, still watching Emily as her smile turns more serious, and she licks her lips before explaining.

“It’s like… I don’t know,” she breathes out a nervous laugh. “I can’t explain it fully. Not because it’s all jumbled up in my mind, but because there’s just _so much_ happiness. It’s just something I feel, I guess. Every time I’m with you… I feel whole. Even when we’re arguing, sure, I’m not the most gentle, and maybe I strike a bit too hard, but I really just… want to kiss you,” her smile returns before continuing, “and, every day, I want to show you how loved you are, even if it’s taken me a while to admit it. Maybe, somehow, I can make up for it, and I’m sorry it took me this long, but━”

Emily cuts her off with a smile and a kiss as she leans forward to shush the girl who’s beginning to ramble, earning a content sigh against her mouth. Alison straddles her again, deepening the embrace as she leans down as much as she can to kiss the brunette who lies against the sheets and pillows. Emily’s hands roam in the meantime, dragging up the girl’s torso with the ends of her nails wandering along Alison’s skin as they kiss hard. They end up cupping Alison’s breasts, squeezing gently and earning a new, softer moan as the blonde’s elbows dig into the pillow on both sides of Emily’s head. The brunette suddenly lies her head back down to break the kiss, looking up at Alison with a growing smile as her eyes dance between the girl’s mouth and lovable gaze.

“I love you,” her smile grows, but it’s erased by Alison’s lips a few seconds later.

Between the pecks and further wandering hands, the blonde manages to get out a partially-muffled “I love you too,” and Emily smiles against her mouth before, again, it’s erased when the kiss deepens.

Slowly, Alison shifts her body to the side as she straddles one of Emily’s thighs, and her hand wanders downwards, soon making quick friction between the girl’s legs as they widen slightly at the contact. The brunette’s jaw drops a fraction, and Alison kisses at the corner of her mouth while whispering “I love you so much,” as her mouth trails down the side of the girl’s neck. As she bites down gently, a digit enters the brunette who lies beneath her, and Emily tries to seal her lips as her chin tilts upwards when open-mouthed kisses are planted along her throat. Alison smiles at the sound of Emily moaning her name, especially when the noises gradually get louder once her hand quickens its pace as her fingers work with determination. As her lower lip drags upwards along the girl’s chin and back to her parted mouth, her fingers press down more, creating a spike in friction that results in a new chain of noises and nails being dug into Alison’s back.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” the blonde nudges her nose against the other girl’s, still smiling as small whimpers now fall from Emily’s lips.

When Alison can feel Emily’s body occasionally twitch beneath where she lies, her smile turns into a smirk, and she presses her tongue to her inner cheek as she glances downwards, shifting her hand a bit so she can work faster at a better angle. The brunette goes to choke out a moan, but it dies in her throat as it comes out inaudible, and Alison bites the girl’s lower lip while a devious smile remains on her face. As she tugs on Emily’s lip, her middle finger swipes up and down along the length of the girl’s center, pressing more or less every now and then, and the brunette’s hips try to match the pace.

Again, she watches Emily with admiration and love, but their lips are crashing together before she can even blink, and the brunette keeps a firm grasp on the back of Alison’s neck as she feels warmth filling her core quickly. Her thigh raises slightly, creating an angle that causes the blonde to shift her own hips, and moans mixed with soft whimpers bounce back and forth between them as they attempt to remain kissing.

As Alison feels friction mounting between her own legs, she attempts to focus as her hand angles a new way, moving quickly across Emily’s most sensitive area, creating a fresh batch of small, frustrated whines before the girl lets go, unraveling rapidly as Alison persists. Eventually, when Alison’s motions continue, Emily has to break their kiss so she can lean her head back for a brief second, breathing hard. Finally, the blonde draws her hand away as she keeps her body at a standstill while Emily catches her breath, but she’s caught off-guard when she’s flipped onto her back with a soft grunt.

Before she can even choke out a laugh after hearing her own distressed noise, a hand is between her legs, dragging up and down her center as she lets out a sharp whine at the sudden sensation.

“Mm, I think you’re more beautiful,” the brunette kisses her bottom lip, afterwards backing up so she can watch the other girl’s face contort with pleasure whenever her fingers move with more boldness.

Alison tries to breathe out a laugh at the statement ━ and maybe she does a little bit ━ but, before the noise can fully make it out of her throat, a finger presses into her, and she tucks her own bottom lip between her teeth as she bites down. Emily watches her with a soft smile, thoroughly enjoying how worked up Alison gets when she tries to keep things under control, but she suddenly shifts her fingers and drags a few upwards, putting more pressure in all the right areas as a shaky whimper forces its way through the blonde’s gritted teeth.

After hearing the sound, the brunette smirks hard and moves her mouth downwards, kissing along the girl’s collarbones and throat, afterwards descending even lower to drag her tongue past the blonde’s nipples. She moves her mouth deliberately along Alison’s skin while she uses every favored finger motion against the girl’s center, earning a round of cuss words and name-chanting interwoven in a cluster of noises. Emily feels nails scraping along her scalp as her tongue draws small hearts against Alison’s skin just below her breasts, and she presses kisses to the hearts’ inner areas before regaining a face to face level with the blonde whose legs begin to shake slightly. She leans towards Alison’s ear and presses a sloppy kiss to the top of her jawline, only to feel nails digging into the back of her neck once another finger enters the girl, and she moans semi-into the blonde’s ear. In response to the sudden sound, Alison’s orgasm comes faster and harder, and the brunette continues to plant kisses along her neck as the girl’s hand grasps onto Emily’s wrist, slowing her movements gradually.

Alison’s blue eyes stay shut as she tries to catch her breath, but they flicker open once she feels Emily straddling her lower torso. Within seconds, they’re kissing again, though they’re both breathing heavily, and Emily’s hands cup Alison’s jaw as their tongues slide past one another. A few leftover moans pass their lips, and they back up to lock eyes briefly. Smiles grace their faces, but, soon, they lean back in and kiss more, never wanting to depart ━ until Emily begins to slide down the girl’s body with a newfound, devious smirk of her own. Alison wants to protest the gesture, mostly because her legs still feel like jelly from a few moments ago, but she can’t find her voice, and, instead, just stares at Emily with wide eyes until the brunette is completely lost beneath the covers.

She feels wet kisses being pressed along her inner thighs, and her eyes slam shut once more as Emily toys with her legs, moving closer to her center with every kiss she gifts Alison’s skin with. The blonde can’t help herself, and she breathes out a soft “Fuck” as she tilts her head backwards, biting on her lower lip hard as she waits to feel what she’s been missing more than she’d admit. An abrupt finger-swipe is felt a second later, and her legs close slightly because of the sensitivity. Emily must have felt it against her skin because, without missing a beat, she pushes her body between Alison’s legs so she can keep them from clamping down, and she dots kisses around the girl’s center as she listens to a few sharp breaths come from somewhere above the covers.

When Emily doesn’t do anything for a few more seconds, Alison wants to scold the brunette for intentionally pausing just to drum up some tension, but, before she can even shift her body a fraction, a tongue is dragged upwards along the length of her center, and she moans loudly, afterwards trying to get another handle on her bottom lip so she can stop herself from being too loud. She swallows hard before the girl’s mouth is constantly against her damp, sensitive skin, and more whimpers escape her throat as her nails drag along Emily’s scalp, slightly tugging at the brunette’s hair without getting too carried away. Emily moves slowly, savoring the moment as she tastes the girl she’s come to know and love so well, and Alison’s noises become louder whenever the brunette’s tongue is pressed anywhere near her most sensitive area due to her previous orgasm. Her legs try to close periodically, but Emily pushes them open as she works with more purpose, using the entire width of her tongue to cover every area equally. Every now and then, Alison can feel pressure building quickly, but the brunette stops as if she senses it, and the blonde grits her teeth together before the girl’s mouth is back in the same spot, moving with determination.

“Em, please,” she whines, not caring how desperate it sounds because she’s so frustrated that it’s becoming painful ━ even if it’s a good type of pain.

In response, she feels the girl hum between her legs, and the sensation causes her to breathe out heavily as she pulls Emily’s face closer when the girl tries to pull away like before. Again, the brunette tries to toy with the girl beneath her, but Alison gasps as she shifts so her leg is partially over Emily’s shoulder, forcefully keeping her in place as her heel slightly digs into the girl’s back. Finally, the brunette gives up, and she presses forward as she sucks on Alison’s clit for a moment, afterwards dragging the tip of her tongue against the same, sensitive area, resulting in the blonde’s second orgasm as her back arches with a meshed-up pattern of names and sounds flowing from her lips at a steady rate.

Emily smiles hard and she continues moving her tongue against the girl’s center until she feels Alison’s legs trying to close more than before. Relenting, she presses a few more kisses to the blonde’s inner thighs before she climbs upwards, immediately being kissed by the girl who breathes heavier than she had been prior to Emily going down on her. Her tongue slides against Alison’s, earning a content sigh from the girl who tastes herself on Emily’s mouth. Alison’s hands cup Emily’s jaw with her nails slightly digging into the tanned girl’s skin, all while more, soft sounds flow between the two of them.

The brunette is flipped onto her back a minute later, being pinned down against the mattress by Alison who wears an unreadable expression. They stare at one another, but Emily narrows her eyes at the girl above her, silently wondering what she’s thinking. With one last, abrupt kiss, Alison backs up again and offers that same, shy smile, finally explaining, “I just really missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she smiles back, trying to use her best reassuring voice to soothe the other girl’s thoughts because she can sense the blonde’s nervousness.

Emily swears that she can see a few tears springing into the blonde’s eyes, but they shut before she can really search those blue orbs, and their lips are reconnected only a few seconds later. Before they can get fully lost in the kiss, Emily backs up again, nudging her nose against Alison’s as they try to keep only an inch of distance between their mouths.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” she gets out, only to have her lips sealed once again.

Alison’s lips curve into a small smile as they kiss more, and, for the remainder of the night, her worries are put at ease by the girl who makes it her goal to love the blonde as much as she possibly can, lasting much into the early Christmas morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know about you, but I love it when they’re on the same page. Sure, it’s rare, but it’s so pure. I hope this chapter was satisfying since it’s much lighter than previous installments. 
> 
> “But, you know, we’re just talking about what your present could be. Not what it really is.” ━ A.K.A. Emily playing with fire (which is a pretty funny pun when you think about how she’s been poking at flames for two chapters).
> 
> Tomorrow’s chapter is pretty damn domestic in the fluffy sense. There will be some heart to heart’s and some nice, solid moments. Very fitting for the holiday. 
> 
> For now, I hope everyone enjoys their Christmas Eve (or whatever day you’re reading this on), and I’ll see you tomorrow for another edition of *dun dun*━ Nah we ain’t gonna do that, but I’ll see you tomorrow.
> 
> In the meantime, leave me some messages/comments/love notes/etc. I read each and every one while smiling at my phone like a dork, and I’ll be with my extended family for most of the day (whilst checking my emails) so there’s a ninety percent chance that my cousins will be making fun of me.


	4. Christmas Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes… the fourth and final part of this story… rightfully ending on December 25th. 
> 
> We’re about to watch (well, read) these two celebrate Christmas together and I’m stoked. 
> 
> It’s been a short journey for this fic, but I’m satisfied with it. I think all of us could use a little domestic fluff every now and then, even if it starts off with unnecessary (yet very entertaining) drama.
> 
> *Throws white confetti* Okay, read.

Emily watches the other girl breathe soundly with the steady rise and fall of her chest. She smiles softly as she licks her lips and continues to play with the blonde’s fingers while they lie nose to nose upon Alison’s bed. Every now and then, her legs shift, but they can’t move far because both girls are completely tangled within the covers, so she remains in the same spot for the most part.

She’s only been awake for twelve minutes or so, just watching the other girl sleep for a while longer, and Emily’s been playing with Alison’s fingers since she woke up. She delicately traces the girl’s palm and fingertips, and, occasionally, the blonde takes in a sharper breath when Emily’s fingers drag upwards along her wrist. Again, she smiles at the sleeping girl, sometimes glancing at her sealed-shut eyes with a gaze full of love and admiration. Otherwise, she pays attention to what she’s doing, and soon, her fingertips travel up Alison’s naked arm, making their way to her cheek so Emily can cup her jaw and lean in to give her a gentle kiss. The blonde hums when she feels lips on her own, afterwards pushing forward to keep their mouths connected when she senses Emily backing up.

“I thought you were asleep,” Emily laughs once there’s a small space between them.

“I was,” Alison mimics the sound, “but then your hands woke me up,” she speaks with a pointed tone, slightly masked by her sleepiness.

“I’m sorry,” she says, though there’s still a grin on her face. “You can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

“Mm, no,” Alison hums and shakes her head, afterwards leaning back in for another kiss.

Emily seems to have a permanent smile as she kisses the other girl, cupping her jaw slightly as she deepens the lip-lock as much as she can, soon ending up on her back with the blonde half-on top of her. Alison pauses for a moment and backs up enough to look at the girl beneath her, meanwhile brushing a few strands of hair off of the brunette’s face as she smiles.

The girl pressed against the mattress leans up and kisses Alison again, afterwards resuming her position as they stare at one another.

“Merry Christmas,” the blonde’s smile turns childish, more so because she just remembered that it’s actually Christmas morning.

Emily laughs at the tinge of shyness in Alison’s voice, but she whispers, “Merry Christmas to you too,” and pecks the girl on the lips again.

Following a quiet stare-down, Emily tilts her head with a newer smile.

“Hungry?”

“ _Starving_ ,” Alison’s eyes widen.

“Well it _is_ almost eleven,” the brunette begins to shift along the mattress, pulling some of the covers with her as she sits up.

Alison pulls a portion back towards her body, making sure to keep herself covered because it’s probably still below freezing. Emily snorts at the reaction, and she shakes her head while turning so she can fully get out of bed. She faces away from Alison who allows her eyes to drift downwards as Emily pulls her previously-discarded clothing items onto her body, afterwards turning back to the blonde to see those blue eyes still a bit too low. The brunette raises an eyebrow with an amused expression, earning a sheepish smile before Alison turns the other way while still lying in bed.

Emily rounds the piece of furniture, quickly coming face to face with Alison who only has one eye open as a smirk is plastered across her mouth. The brunette kneels down, staring at the sleepy girl with a constant, amused expression.

“Are you coming?”

“Em, I’m too tired to figure out what to make for breakfast.”

“ _I’m_ going to figure out what to make. Not you,” Emily tilts her head.

“You don’t have to do that,” she replies, though the brunette can see signs of a small smile forming.

“Ali, you’ve taken care of me for the past three days. It’s my turn to do something.”

Alison breathes out a laugh, “I made you soup and mac and cheese,” followed by the blonde shooting a pointed look at Emily who rolls her eyes, “otherwise you’ve been on your own.”

“But both were delicious and that counts for something.”

“Shut up,” she laughs harder, finally sitting up and taking the sheets with her, dangling her legs over the side where Emily now stands.

When the brunette catches sight of Alison’s bare chest for a brief moment, she bites her bottom lip and forces herself to look away, quickly bending over to snatch the blonde’s robe off the floor. She tosses it at the girl who wears a knowing (and slightly devious) smirk, afterwards shooting her a quick “don’t even think about it” glare to which Alison shrugs.

“Put that on. I’ll be too distracted, otherwise,” Emily looks away.

“At least you admit it,” Alison doesn’t bother tugging the garment on, and that’s when another glare is shot her way.

“ _Well_?” she looks at the blonde expectantly.

“This is my spare robe. I want my everyday one.”

“Seriously?” her stare turns incredulous, and she rolls her eyes hard as Alison nods.

“Isn’t this your everyday robe? You wear it all the time,” Emily raises an eyebrow.

“I mean… I do,” the other girl looks around, “but no, it’s not.”

Emily stares at Alison who blinks innocently.

“What does it look like?” the brunette relents after a few more seconds.

“Em, I’ve worn it around you before. How could you not know what it looks like?”

Silence forms as the other girl looks through Alison’s things. The blonde rolls her eyes with that same damn smirk once she begins to realize that the other girl probably gets too “distracted” when it’s worn. Her smug expression grows as the brunette looks around the room, remembering (while internally admitting) how handsy Emily gets whenever she’s wearing the thin, short, and overall _revealing_ garment.

“You know, maybe I should start wearing super low-cut blouses to work. It would make for a pretty interesting school day once we bump into each other in the halls.”

“Don’t even think about it, Ali,” she shakes her head forcefully, laughing at the entire concept because, well, it’s true.

“Why not?” the blonde gets up and walks over to where the other girl stands, smirking hard as she tilts her head and studies the brown eyes that stare back at her in growing nervousness.

Alison continues after licking her lips deliberately, “I think you’d love it.”

“And so would _many_ of your young students,” Emily challenges.

“Maybe,” Alison shrugs, standing extremely close to the brunette, “but I’d only be wearing it for you.”

Suddenly, Emily’s gaze flickers downwards for a split second, but her eyes quickly lock with Alison’s again once she realizes that the girl still isn’t wearing anything. She gives the blonde a pointed, scolding look, afterwards wrapping her arms around Alison’s body.

“It’s freezing, Alison. Put some clothes on.”

“First of all,” the blonde backs up a fraction, “nice excuse.”

Emily looks away but blushes hard.

“Secondly, I’d much rather you warm me up,” her voice regains its sultriness within seconds, and Emily truly wonders how she does it because, one minute, she’ll be speaking in the most innocent tone, and, the next, her voice sounds as if it could flow right through you.

When lips start trailing down her neck just to have the blonde’s lower lip drag back upwards along her skin, Emily lets out a soft moan at the contact, and she can feel her nails slightly digging into the girl’s lower back as they stand in the same spot. She struggles to control her breathing, especially when Alison’s hands glide upwards, eventually draping them over Emily’s shoulders as her lips move against the girl’s tanned skin for even longer. The blonde’s nails scratch along Emily’s skin on the other side of her neck, and she kisses underneath the girl’s ear with a smile forming along her mouth as she listens to the struggling whimpers fall from the brunette’s lips. When Alison finally backs up, she kisses the girl’s lips with determination. A moan erupts in Emily’s throat as Alison presses forward, practically meshing their bodies together as they stand, and she feels the blonde’s nails drag along the skin on the back of her neck.

Emily suddenly offers one last peck to the blonde’s lips, and she puts a big amount of space between them with a (wavering) look of scolding, only to be smirked at by Alison who takes the silent lecture with a grain of salt.

“You said you’re starving, Ali. Let’s go get some breakfast.”

“And then what?”

“Are you going to be like this the entire day?”

“Are you complaining?”

“Well, no, but━”

“Exactly,” Alison brushes past her, swaying her hips as she goes to grab her “normal” robe.

She finds it quickly, immediately wrapping it around her body as much as she can since the garment is pretty skimpy. Emily watches her, eventually nodding with a slight laugh once she understands that she hadn’t remembered what it looks like solely because it barely covers anything.

“Ali,” she laughs harder, “you’re going to freeze downstairs.”

“Again… nice excuse.”

Emily hangs her head, “Okay, if we get downstairs and it’s too cold for you, I’m not━”

“Yes, you _are_ ,” Alison smiles even though she has no idea what the other girl was going to say, but she _does_ know that it had something to do with keeping her warm.

The brunette doesn’t offer a rebuttal. Instead, she stares at Alison with narrowed eyes, only to walk away shortly after with a muttered “Come on,” to which the blonde grins triumphantly at.

Alison catches up to the girl who all but runs down the stairs, grabbing her hand so they can descend the staircase together. Emily looks back and throws Alison a childish smile, giggling softly as she shakes her head. Once they reach the landing, the blonde partially shivers, and Emily can feel it on her hand as she looks back with an “I told you so” expression. The blonde, in response, rolls her eyes and brushes past the girl who remains standing in the same spot at the bottom of the stairs. She walks over to the window to observe the outdoors, pushing the curtains open and groaning slightly as she shields her eyes when the snow looks thirty times whiter due to the sunlight bouncing off of the crystals. Emily snorts at the expression, afterwards approaching the window so she can do the same.

The snow has melted quite a bit since yesterday morning, that’s for sure, but it’s still packed tightly against the ground. There are puddles lining the driveway and street, and the two standing next to the window can hear water flowing through the loose gutters at a rapid rate, causing a clanking noise to sound near the side of the house. It looks warm, for the most part, but the air still feels frigid which is why Emily side-eyes Alison who crosses her arms as they remain standing.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay in that?” Emily eyes the girl’s short robe.

“We’ll see,” Alison chuckles. “I’m not staying in it the _entire_ day, Em. I just didn’t feel like getting dressed.”

“You better change if you start getting cold, Ali,” she faces the blonde who looks at her with raised eyebrows.

She continues, “I mean it. We don’t need you sick.”

“I’ll be fine,” Alison takes a step forward. “I’m sure you’ll keep me safe. Or _us_ , if you want to get technical.”

Emily purses her lips, but laughs as she nods in agreement, “Okay,” and she leans down to kiss Alison on the mouth before walking into the kitchen.

The other girl stands in the same spot, however, and she looks outside to watch the snow gradually melt. Suddenly, her face falls into a partial frown as she remembers that, once the snow melts, Emily will likely leave her again, and who knows where they’ll go from there. Her eyes drift downwards as she hugs her torso, almost as if she’s shielding herself from the unknown while Emily rummages through a few things in the kitchen. She feels her throat beginning to tighten up, but she forces her eyes to slam shut as she takes a few deep breaths, determined to make today good since it’s Christmas ━ A.K.A. Emily’s favorite holiday. So, once she feels good enough, she closes the curtains like previously, and she moves over to the couch so she can drape a blanket over herself as she waits for the other girl to join.

Alison giggles when she hears humming coming from the kitchen, but the sound stops before she hears, “Are you laughing at me?” The blonde smirks and throws out a sarcastic “No, not at all,” and she earns a mumble from Emily ━ though she can’t make out what’s being said.

Soon, Emily emerges from the kitchen and kneels next to the fireplace, determined to get a fresh fire going. She clears out some of the remnants of the former fire, pushing the ashes to the side so she can collect them afterwards, and then covers the area with fresh logs and kindling. Alison watches her silently, smiling at the sight while she shakes her head because she really has no idea how Emily does it. Again, the brunette hums absentmindedly as she continues to ignite a flame in the small area, waiting for it to catch fire as she somewhat speaks to the spark. The blonde snorts at the small conversation, immediately sealing her lips shut when Emily glances in her direction with a playful glare. As she turns back to the newborn fire, the brunette gives herself a solid head nod before getting up with a groan, turning to see a pair of lovable, blue eyes looking back at her.

“What?” a smile of her own forms when Alison doesn’t stop staring at her.

The blonde shrugs, “Nothing,” and her smile grows, matching a blush that begins to spread across her cheekbones.

Emily’s eyes narrow playfully, but she walks away in order to move towards the tree, flicking the lights on as every other decoration lights up as well. She nods, more so to herself, and glances at Alison who still stares back at her but, within seconds, she’s walking into the kitchen because she can smell their toast beginning to burn. As she leaves the living room, Alison’s blue eyes watch her with that same smile remaining on her face, but it soon falls when her eyes catch sight of the time on a nearby clock, and she sighs when remembering ( _again_ ) that Emily will, likely, be leaving sometime soon. The blonde starts to wonder when she’ll leave, or how long they have with one another before the girl is free. She looks down while biting her lower lip, sinking further back against the cushions as she semi-tucks her knees against her chest, waiting for the other girl to return.

Almost as if on cue, Emily exits the kitchen with two mugs and a plate of multiple pieces of toast, smiling at the girl on the couch who breathes out an amused laugh at the sight. She puts the plate and mugs down on the coffee table in front of them, smiling sheepishly because, well, it’s not the most extravagant Christmas breakfast, but it’ll have to suffice.

“Interesting, _interesting_ ,” Alison eyes the food, smirking with an arched eyebrow. “So, what complex choices do we have here?”

Emily turns to her with a pointed, forcefully-unamused expression, “If you keep making fun of what I made, I’ll eat it all, myself.”

“No, you won’t,” she steals a piece of toast.

“ _And_ ,” Emily starts again after taking a bite of her own piece, “you’re the one who has limited food choice here. Not my fault.”

Alison’s challenging expression falls into a flat line, earning a cheesy smile from the girl sitting next to her. Soon, however, the corners of her mouth turn back upward into a grateful smile, and she nods her head while trying to look away from Emily because she feels herself beginning to blush solely due to the brunette’s soft glances.

“Thank you, by the way,” Alison gets out quietly. “For everything while you’ve been here.”

“Even the first two days?” Emily tries to joke.

“I’m _trying_ to thank you,” again, her expression turns pointed. “Don’t remind me.”

“I know,” she laughs. “You’re welcome.”

Alison looks down at the mugs in front of them, suddenly realizing that the girl found hot chocolate somewhere hidden within the pantry (she guesses). Her smile turns childlike as she reaches down and grabs a mug, turning to face Emily with the same smile while she shakes her head.

“I figured you were sick of tea,” Emily mutters. “Plus, it’s Christmas.”

The blonde takes a sip and, after, nods her head while licking her lips. She looks at Emily with an agreeing “Mhm” before putting the mug back on the coffee table, afterwards finishing her breakfast as Emily quietly eats next to her.

Randomly, both of their phones chime, and they share a nervous look before Emily pulls her phone out of her pocket to see a group text from Hanna. She laughs hard after opening it, finding a goofy picture of said blonde wearing an elf hat while eating a candy cane. Below the picture is a text wishing the four girls a _“Merry Christmas, bitches,”_ and the brunette rolls her eyes because she’s definitely starting to steal A’s slogans ━ or A.D., for that matter.

Emily shows Alison when she can tell that the blonde is gaining a curious demeanor, and they both snort at the message once she’s shown. When Alison goes to open her mouth and say something, another text graces Emily’s screen within the group chat ━ this time from Aria ━ and it says, _“Is it just me, or did that sound a lot like something A would say?”_

The brunette types out _“Nope, not just you”_ at the same time that Spencer replies, _“I’m pretty sure A already used that one.”_

 **H** ━ “You all suck. Next time I won’t text you.”

 **S** ━ “Someone’s got their stockings in a twist.”

 **A** ━ “Lmfao.”

 **H** ━ “Fuck you.”

 **H** ━ “Emily. :( Tell them to stop picking on me.”

 **E** ━ “Idk, Hanna. You were pretty mean to me a few days ago.”

 **H** ━ “EXCUSE ME???”

 **E** ━ “Gotta go. Alison needs me. :)”

 **H** ━ “Yeah, I’m sure she does.”

 **A** ━ “Ew.”

 **S** ━ “Hanna, what did I tell you about being invasive?”

Emily laughs again and puts her phone onto the coffee table in front of them ━ face down; she knows that the others will likely be blowing up her phone for a while (unless they’re actually busy), but she doesn’t want her day with Alison to be severely interrupted.

The blonde’s eyes watch the other girl put the phone down, noting that she lies it face down, before she’s caught staring and a blush crosses her cheeks.

“So,” Emily lounges against her side of the couch, tilting her head as a soft smile reappears on her face, “what’s the plan for today?”

At first, Alison seems taken aback by the question, more so because if Emily is leaving, then she doesn’t exactly have a plan; honestly, she figured that she’d just relax and watch cliché Christmas movies throughout the day while keeping her mind off of the insane loneliness. It’s not like she despises Emily for leaving so she can carry out her family’s closely-knitted tradition like every year, but the entire idea of the brunette walking through the door bums her out. So, in response, she takes a deep breath and purses her lips afterwards, shrugging hard as she looks away from Emily who frowns.

“Is something wrong?” the brunette tilts her head further, speaking quietly as the fire cracks nearby.

Again, she shrugs, “I didn’t really have a plan for the day. The snow’s melting so I figured you’d be leaving soon.”

“I mean… if you really _want_ me to leave, I will,” her eyes widen as she looks at the cushion between them.

“Of course I don’t want you to,” Alison’s eyebrows furrow, “but I thought you’d have somewhere to be, or somewhere you’d _want_ to be.”

“I do,” Emily nods. “Right here.”

Alison looks at her with curiosity, sensing that there’s something she’s not being told. When Emily sees the other girl’s eyes starting to narrow, her smile from before returns, and she blushes because she can tell that Alison is catching on.

“Ali, I’m not leaving,” she starts again. “I never even planned on leaving, in the first place. Not without you, anyway.”

The blonde raises an eyebrow, causing the other girl to explain further.

“Mom wants to see us for a day-after-Christmas dinner.”

“Us?” Alison chuckles.

“Mhm,” Emily nods, “as in… both of us.”

“And… she _said_ that?”

The brunette playfully rolls her eyes, “Yes, Ali, she did. She knows how happy you make me, so she said she’d love it if you came too.”

“I make you happy?” Alison smirks.

“Is that the _only_ thing you got out of what I just said?” Emily narrows her eyes.

“Not the only thing,” the blonde speaks with a carefree tone, “but it just… stood out the most.”

When Emily continues to shoot pointed, narrowed eyes at her, Alison smiles before sliding against the cushions with the blanket wrapped around her body, eventually ending up practically in the brunette’s lap. As she approaches, Emily’s expression turns into something much lighter, and a grin appears on her face as Alison leans in slightly.

“I guess you’re stuck with me,” the brunette mutters, though she’s trying to drum up some confidence as Alison’s lips get closer to hers.

First, Alison smiles big, but it’s covered up by Emily’s lips when they begin to kiss. They both partially sigh into the lip-lock, and the blonde’s smile is completely erased as she melts into the embrace while Emily’s hands cup her jaw with practically no force. Before the kiss gets too deep, however, Alison backs up and rubs her lips together, eventually letting out a laugh.

“Does this mean I’m going to have to clear out a few more drawers for your clothes?” she mumbles against the other girl’s mouth when their lips are impatiently reconnected.

This time, Emily backs up, and she laughs while nodding, “Mhm.”

“I guess I can deal with that.”

The brunette rolls her eyes but leans back in, asking for another kiss. Alison grants her one, but it’s a short peck before she backs up to see a pout covering Emily’s face. The tanned girl watches her with slight concern, mostly because Alison now looks away with a conflicted expression.

“Em,” she starts, “I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to stay here. Whether it’s just today, or every day, or━”

“Alison, I’m here because I want to be here,” the other girl tries to provide a sweet tone so the blonde will understand once and for all. “And I’m going to stay here because I want to. I promise.”

“So, what does this mean?” her eyes narrow, a smile tugging at her lips.

“What do you want it to mean?”

“Don’t make me answer that,” Alison gets out a shaky laugh, eyes widening as she looks away from the girl who stares at her with an ever-growing, smug grin.

“Please,” she tries.

Alison shakes her head with the same, nervous expression, afterwards being caught off-guard by Emily who leans in closely, kissing the girl’s bottom lip a few times before she backs up again. She pouts hard, using the same dopey face that usually melts Alison (admittedly). Alison tugs the blanket around her even further, covering up to her neck as she ducks her head a bit. Emily wants to giggle at the girl’s nervousness, but she doesn’t ━ solely because she won’t get any information out of the blonde that way.

“I want to know what you want it to mean,” Emily whispers and Alison side-eyes her, eventually getting out a half-sigh, half-whine as the brunette backs up so she can listen fully.

“I…” she bites her lower lip for a split second, looking away again, “I just really want you to stay. Like… for a while. Forever, if that’s possible,” she laughs, but it’s more nervous than comical.

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“What do you want it to mean?” Alison smirks once she watches Emily’s cunning smile falter after realizing she unknowingly walked into a trap.

“I… I don’t━”

“Not so fun, is it?” her smirk grows when she hears the other girl stutter.

Alison suddenly shifts her body and crawls even closer, quickly ending up completely in Emily’s lap as her arms gingerly wrap around the top of the brunette’s shoulders, locking her wrists behind the girl’s neck. Emily continues to look around, careful not to lock eyes with Alison who tilts her head in an expectant manner. The blonde’s smirk seems to soften by the passing second, turning into a lovable grin as she presses a gentle kiss to Emily’s temple. The brunette, on the other hand, allows shaking fingertips to draw patterns along Alison’s back, just underneath the blanket but atop the thin robe.

“Well?” Alison finally gets out, another smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Hmm?” she hums in response, still evading those blue eyes.

“No way,” the blonde shakes her head with a laugh. “You’re definitely not getting yourself out of this one.”

No response.

“I want to know what you want it to mean,” Alison repeats Emily’s words from before, though her voice is even softer as her fingers stroke at the back of the brunette’s neck.

“What if…” Emily starts after another minute, pausing almost immediately while finally locking eyes with the blonde who sits on top of her, “what if I really am your present?”

“Em, you asked this yesterday, and you already know my answer,” her smile returns.

“Yeah, I know, but what if I’m not joking this time?”

“Are you?”

At first, the brunette’s lips part because, no, she really isn’t joking, but she never thought that she’d be in this exact situation so, currently, she’s at a loss for words. The other girl stares at her with curiosity and slight nervousness that Emily can physically feel because the blonde’s wandering fingertips have come to a standstill ━ much like her own. When a few more seconds pass (though they feel like solid minutes), Emily looks towards the ceiling and forces a bit of confidence, hoping that she doesn’t fall flat on her face because, really, she feels like she’s about to.

“No,” a small smile graces her features, “I’m not joking.”

Alison continues to study the girl’s expression, allowing a similar smile to tug at the corners of her lips.

“I really want to try being something with you, Ali,” she continues. “In an actual relationship, I mean. But only if you want that. Otherwise, I don’t know wh━”

As Emily begins to backtrack and ramble, Alison cuts her off with an energized kiss which feels a lot different than their previous embraces. Sure, passion was _always_ there, but, often, it was overridden by the thick amount of lust. Additionally, love existed, but it’s not like they ever gave it a chance to be fully displayed, though it was never exactly erased. So, currently, as they lean in further, it’s almost as if there’s a new chapter beginning ━ which could seem kind of cliché considering the meaning of Christmas ━ and it takes another few minutes before they depart with fresh smiles and a new outlook on what they are, as well as what they’re going to be.

“I want that,” Alison confirms with a solid head-nod and a smile. “I promise.”

“What does this mean?”

“We are _not_ doing that again,” she places a hand over Emily’s mouth, raising her eyebrows with a stern expression, though a smile makes its way back across her lips.

She gets closer to Emily’s face, whispering, “You know exactly what it means. You’re mine now,” though her hand is still covering the brunette’s mouth.

After a solid minute of Emily trying to bite Alison’s hand, the blonde lets go and looks around the room, allowing her hands to fall into her lap as she gets lost in her thoughts. The brunette watches her with wonder, furrowing her eyebrows a bit when the other girl stays silent for an extended amount of time. Right as she’s about to ask what Alison is thinking, the blonde gets up while humming something, afterwards rounding the couch as Emily’s forehead creases in mounting confusion.

“Where are you going?”

“To get your present,” she responds as if it’s obvious.

“Ali, no,” Emily stands up, “I told you that I’m not accepting it until I give you yours.”

“You just did,” Alison turns around with a tilted head, resting her hands on her hips.

“What? I didn’t━”

“I do recall you _very recently_ implying that you’re my present,” she raises a daring eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the present I was really talking about when we made the deal yesterday,” comes the rebuttal from the girl who remains standing next to the couch.

“Maybe you should be a little more specific, next time,” Alison smirks, afterwards walking further towards the stairs.

Emily tries to follow her, quickly moving in Alison’s direction, but the blonde swiftly turns around with a finger pointed in the other girl’s face, practically touching her nose.

“Don’t you dare follow me,” she warns.

The brunette looks down, absentmindedly checking Alison out as they stand pretty close together, and the blonde raises an amused eyebrow before taking a step back.

“That’s not a challenge, either,” Alison says through a smile. “Stay here.”

Emily groans and walks away, earning a triumphant grin from the girl who jogs up the stairs to retrieve the apparent present. The brunette moves back over to the couch, all but throwing herself onto the cushions as her eyes bore into the crackling fire. At first, she gives herself an impressed nod because, after an hour or so, the fire is still pretty damn lively, but her mental appreciation is interrupted by Alison who comes down the stairs minutes later, arms behind her back as she smirks at Emily who deadpans. The blonde is now wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts, and Emily notes the new outfit until the girl gets closer, smiling heavily. Like before, the brunette groans.

“Stop being so dramatic,” she laughs. “You and I both know that you love Christmas.”

“Yeah, because of the entire… _vibe_ , not because of what’s under the tree, Ali.”

“This present was never under the tree,” Alison shakes her head.

“Again with the debating,” Emily shoots a pointed look at the other girl.

“Hmm,” the blonde squints her eyes in thought, “what was it that I said yesterday? _‘Get used to it’?_ ”

When the brunette can’t find a proper response, she laughs and looks away, ending with Alison smiling and walking over to sit with the girl. She places the wrapped gift on the cushion between them, afterwards staring at Emily who looks back at her with a timid expression.

“Open it,” Alison coaxes.

“Alison, this is so unfair. You━”

“Open. It.”

After another round of hesitation, Emily carefully opens the rectangle-shaped item, eventually coming face to cover with a photo album-looking object. She smiles at the book, more so because she’s not sure what’s inside yet, and Alison continues to watch her try to figure out what’s inside solely from staring at the cover.

“You can open it further, you know,” she teases.

“I know,” Emily rolls her eyes with a shy smile, “I just feel like I should brace myself for whatever’s inside.”

“Good,” is her only reply, and the brunette’s eyes lock with hers for a brief second, afterwards focusing back on the present as her fingers flip open the cover.

Within the slim book is a plethora of notes that they had written back and forth during their few high school years. Of course, a lot are from Emily, herself, but the brunette’s eyes catch sight of some of Alison’s old journal entries, all having to do with their conflicted feelings. Back then, Alison would have never admitted to having feelings for a girl ━ much less one of her best friends ━ but, here, Emily can see how frustrated the blonde was, noting the prominent scribbles and frantic handwriting, as well as the overuse of phrases such as _“girl crush”_ and _“love ???”_ Some pages of the album even hold notes that Alison had never sent to Emily, and a lot of them start off with _“Dear Mermaid,”_ before it’s scribbled out and replaced with _“Em,”_ and a heart. Her eyes often scan things such as _“I don’t know what I’m feeling”_ and _“How do you feel when we kiss?”_ causing Emily’s lips to part.

Obviously, the blonde had never shown anyone these notes, and Emily blinks hard whenever she turns the page, hoping she doesn’t miss anything. Alison, on the other hand, plays with her hands in her lap as she looks around the room, not enjoying the extensive silence even though she’s the one who brought it upon them, in the first place. Finally, Emily looks up to stare at Alison, but she can’t get any words out and the blonde offers a nervous smile before glancing at the book and swallowing hard.

“I guess I always kind of… questioned everything,” she explains with a small laugh. “About us, for the most part. I just chose to ignore it until I _really_ started to wonder, a few weeks ago. Whether we talked things through before Christmas or not… I wanted you to have these.”

“Why’d you keep them?” is Emily’s only question, feeling compelled to ask because it seems strange that the blonde would keep such old, random notes.

She takes a deep breath, “Whenever I went through my old notebooks, I’d throw away things that I felt were meaningless. I was set on throwing away everything that reminded me of who I used to be, honestly, but I just couldn’t…”

Emily watches her think for another few seconds, turning her attention back to the book in the meantime.

“For some reason, I couldn’t throw these away. So, once we fell into this little… _arrangement_ , I started to feel something oddly familiar, almost as if I had felt it before. It bothered me for a few days, and I must have snapped at you during that time because I just kept… blanking. Eventually, I remembered, and I went through boxes upon boxes specifically for these written notes. Once I found them, I sat down and read through each and every one, and…” her voice trails off as her eyes widen in realization.

The brunette smiles heavily, still staring at the pages.

“The ones I’ve included from you are my personal favorites,” Alison smiles, then points to one of the pages. “You sent that one during fifth period. I remember because I nearly lost it in my purse and the teacher yelled at me for not paying attention since I was practically dumping my bag out, onto the desk.”

Emily laughs hard, shaking her head because, really, the blonde would go from a tiny purse one day, to a bag that could swallow the entire state of Texas, the next.

“It’s one of my favorites because that’s the first time you ever openly acknowledged our kiss in the library. Even if it was indirect,” Alison’s smile turns nervous.

The brunette notes the line _“I’d much rather listen to you read Great Expectations in the library,”_ and snickers at her old self, afterwards rolling her eyes.

“I knew that you didn’t _literally_ mean that you wanted me to read to you,” Alison chuckles, “but I don’t know. I found it cute. I would never admit it, but I felt nervous.”

The blonde studies the other notes strewn along the page, laughing slightly when she spots one of her journal entries.

“That’s from when I was _really_ getting confused,” she confesses. “Right before we were, um, in the locker room that day…” her voice trails off, clearly regretful.

Emily looks up, eyebrows furrowed when she hears the girl’s tone.

“I think that’s why I snapped,” Alison bites her lower lip for a second. “Every day, I’d get home and I’d lie down while thinking so damn hard, but I never figured out what was going on. I guess I chose to ignore it… because the next day is when everything happened and, after that, I forced myself away from my feelings.”

Again, Emily doesn’t respond; she simply stares at Alison, not knowing what to say because she feels overwhelmed by the information, even if it’s not bad in the slightest.

“You always meant a great deal to me, Em. I really hope you realize that.”

Emily smiles with watering eyes, afterwards leaning forward to kiss Alison who feels relieved by the response. A whispered “I love you” and an “I love you too” float between their mouths, and Alison smiles against Emily’s lips before backing up another inch.

“You _also_ always stressed me the fuck out,” she laughs slightly, but the sound is cut off by Emily who leans back in.

“Good,” the brunette backs up after another, small peck, “so the feeling is mutual.”

Alison rolls her eyes, “I’m sorry not all of us decided to embrace our inner gay immediately.”

“I was referring to you constantly debating whatever I say,” Emily challenges.

“And I told you━”

“━to get used to it, I know,” she sasses.

“Am I really that predictable?” Alison rocks backwards, tilting her head to the side with a growing smirk.

“Well, actually, sometimes━”

She’s cut off by the blonde pulling her t-shirt over her head, revealing a deep-red and white lingerie piece as she arches an eyebrow in amusement. Emily’s mouth opens, though she can’t speak at first, and her lips curve into an unexpected smile as Alison stares at her with knowing eyes.

“You were saying?” the blonde regains her smug tone.

Emily notes that she’s never seen the garment before, and she tilts her head to mirror Alison’s posture.

“I thought you said that you figured I’d be leaving today?”

Alison looks away, biting her lower lip.

“I did,” she confirms.

“But you decided to get this, anyway?”

“What makes you think that I didn’t have it beforehand?”

Emily quirks an eyebrow, shooting Alison a pointed look.

“I figured that, if you tried leaving me today, I’d just… convince you to stay,” she looks back at Emily who shakes her head and chuckles.

“Maybe I should try to leave, then,” Emily offers the rebuttal, but Alison crawls onto her lap, straddling the girl’s thighs as she sits straight, being held in place by the brunette’s hands that lock behind her back.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Alison leans forward and whispers, smiling afterwards.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know you.”

Emily narrows her eyes, smiling as she mumbles, “What does that mean?” and laughs when she’s poked in the sides repeatedly.

“Okay, okay,” she grabs Alison’s hands, “I get it.”

The blonde makes a grumpy noise, remaining in the same spot until she’s pulled forward with a gasp. Emily chuckles at the sound, and she leans her head back against the cushion as Alison lingers above her, only a few inches away.

“You know me,” Emily admits.

“Mhm, and I love you,” Alison pecks her on the lips.

“I love you too.”

The brunette cranes her neck upwards and presses their lips together, keeping a firm hold on Alison who moves closer. Seconds turn into minutes, and Emily’s hands occasionally drift further downwards as they pass the waistline of Alison’s shorts and underwear, afterwards dragging along her back with light pressure from her fingertips. A few whimpers are swallowed by the brunette’s mouth, and, after a few more passing minutes, Alison smiles and backs up suddenly, stunning the girl who looks at her with curiosity.

Off of Emily’s confused expression, Alison smiles again, this time in a satisfied manner, and she leans back in before mumbling “Merry Christmas” against the brunette’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, the entire ending was unplanned, but I’m happy with how it turned out. Originally, my outlining notes stopped after Emily confessing to Alison that she’s staying for Christmas, and then I threw myself to the wolves and wrote “Figure out how shit ends,” so, when I read it as I was writing this chapter, I was like… ihatemyself. Nevertheless, it came out better than I imagined, and I thought it was a cute testament to their relationship.
> 
> Are they finally dating? Yes. Are they moving in together? Possibly; I’d say so. Are they the cutest? Hell yeah. 
> 
> Feedback, feedback… who enjoyed the story? Who hated it? Who was like “Eh, it ‘aight?” Either way, thanks for coming, thanks for reading, and thanks for having an opinion. It means a great deal to an aspiring writer like me, so your comments and thoughtful words are never misplaced. Again, thank you.
> 
> Now, if you follow along with “January of 2011”, I’ll see you on Tuesday (the latest) for Ch 11. If you don’t follow the story, wow, what the f━ I’m kidding. 
> 
> Either way, I wish you all a great holiday, a great week, and a peaceful 2017.
> 
> *Insert fancy signature here*

**Author's Note:**

> They're so goddamn stubborn. It's so fun to write for.
> 
> #Halison, and Alison sticking up for the other girls… I cry━
> 
> I probably enjoy the flashbacks the most (out of everything else), but my favorite flashback is in tomorrow's update, *smirk emoji* And, by the way, tomorrow's chapter is super lengthy ━ not to mention the fact that I'm also updating "January of 2011" tomorrow, as well.
> 
> Note: For the sake of this being a small, Emison-focused story, A.D. isn't in it. Let's just pretend A.D. doesn't own a car that can withstand the large amount of snow, and/or they're happily at home, enjoying a mug of hot chocolate whilst chillin' in their black hoodie (or maybe even a snuggie) ━ or was the black hoodie aesthetic only A's? Hmm, questions, questions.
> 
> Note #2: I didn't forget about Sabrina, so she'll be mentioned (briefly) in the future. Not sure if anyone was really wondering, but there ya go.
> 
> So, yes, I'll be posting a chapter per day (for this story) from now until Christmas day. I hope you stick around for the entire story. It's pretty enjoyable, I promise.
> 
> For now, look out for tomorrow's "January of 2011" update and this story's second chapter, and review/comment/message me on here or at "capn-charlie" on Tumblr. I'll be waiting to hear your feedback. Thanks for reading.
> 
> P.S. To anyone affected by recent events in the world (it's so unfortunate that I've felt the need to write multiple notes like this), you're not alone, and you can always message me if need be. I may or may not know what to say, but you're always in my thoughts. 2016 is almost over. Just hold on.


End file.
